Sw/oat.

10:30 pm.
28th September 2007.
Channel 77 on Astro.
Daddy is going to be my supervisor.
It either helps me float, or makes me sink.
I don't even know if I will do it.
If I do and make it through, thank God.
If I don't that just means I'm not ready yet maybe.
Oh well, I'm taking the second as it comes.

And it's nerve wrecking.
Prayers appreciated.
It's okay if this doesn't make sense to you.
Neither does it to me right now (:

I'll update.
If it works.
'Taa.

The funny x)

(Part1)
I'm in the club house going for a swim when in the tennis court, there's a tennis coach, coaching his student. His name is Sam and I'm not sure but the student is a little boy all hyped up and sweaty. Sam, is teaching him how to surf the ball and swings his arm for an example. The boy, tries to follow him but unfortunately, the ball doesn't go too far ): My point though is that Sam says thiis, after that (:
"Harder boy, harder! You have to be strong in your swings! Not like a soft little muffin!"
(Laughs so hard I cry) Oh my goodness if it weren't for me hearing that in public, I would have gotten super tummy abs from laughing my insides out. Why?
Because I imagined the little boy to be a muffin, playing on the tennis court with tennis shoes and arms sticking out. I like em' blueberry or banana walnut flavored. I'm so lame it hurts ):
(Part2)
Daddy, being the handydandy man, wants to get a new table for the living room. He asks mummy where the measuring tape is and mummy gets me to bring it up to him. You know how when you go to Ikea you get paper measuring tapes that lots of little kids play with? Well, I used to think I was a gymnast and flip it around nearly tripping over it every second. Ooh, skipping rope too but I figured I was too tall (: Anyway, I brought that up to him and it turned out to be the wrong one. I happily (wink Nicole) went down again to get the correct one, which just to mention was a bright neon plastic pink and when I reached up the stairs, the Ikea measuring tape, was around his head o_O
"Uhh, daddy, why are you measuring the diameter of your head?"
He looks sheepishly and then just smiles. I go into the room and weirdly enough, he calls out to mummy;
"Dear! I need to measure your head!"
Theres silence as I think he measures her head o_O
"Wow, I guess I have a bigger brain than you huh, dear?" Smiles.
Don't ask me what else my parents do or measure because I think that incident was actually disturbing. Anywho, I love my dad who measures his head o_O
Ahahahaha.
I'm so tickled.
(:

Per·fect [ pur-fikt; per-fekt]
1. Entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings
Perfectionism isn't something you would want to master. It gets scary when you get too caught up in it;

Hap·pi·ness [hap-ee-nis]
1. The quality or state of being happy.
2. Good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.

.. thinking you would probably be able to achive this ):

Stu·pid [stoo-pid, styoo-pid]
1. Lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull.
But when you think about it, it becomes stoo-pid hmm?
Perfection comes with flawlessness and does that mean you won't be able to make ANY mistakes?
Like even tripping on the stairs while brushing your teeth? (If you look closely my shin is kind of bruised.)
Faith [feyth]
1. Belief that is not based on proof
Then again, having this isn't as easy to do either.
I won't jump down a cliff by myself, would I? But I think having faith that I won't end up like a cracked egg at the bottom by letting a harness hold me and taking that step off iss, possible. (Not that I'm very likely to try but I've seen it! :D)

So yes, that's what I'm working on psyching myself to think. Oh and;

Pri·or·i·ty [prahy-awr-i-tee]
1. The right to precede others in order, rank, priviledge etc.
This is not when you have PMR in three days, and you draw all the ohsomeaningless above, go swimming and let mummy book a massage. Tsk tsk. I'm dissapointed in myself ): Then again, I'm not perfect (: (:

Love, Sarah.

Swung. (:

Okay I realized the last post was a little bit.. sad ):
Nevertheless, I shall make that up with pictures (:
Colour just makes me soo happy.
Oh, before that ..
1 Oprah Winfrey ALWAYS looks the same. Like her face never looks like it ages or wrinkles. Maaybe she's wearing a plastic mask and underneath it is saggy old skin ):
2 Rottweilers don't have tails! They only have short stumps of fur on their rumps. Know how I know? Daddy was driving me to school when all of a sudden the guard dog passes by. I, being the idiot I am, scream
"Daddy! It doesn't have a taail!"
"No, all rottweilers don't have tails."
"Ooh ._o "
There goes my happy bubble thinking that I just spotted a unique dog ):
3 Sandra and her friend are in her room. I can BET with you, very soon I'm going to hear High School Musical blast through the door. But then again saying that, call me a sucker but the idea of people dancing around pool and canteen tables and singing for no apparent reason all of a sudden, appeals to me alot (: Oh and did I mention Zac Effron looked veery cute in one scene I almost wanted to cry? Literally I don't even know why. I told you I'm psycho.
4 We were going to a shopping mall in Singapore in a taxi. My first point is that taxi's in Singapore are very clean. Compared to here la. They even have air-refresheners.
5 Next point in relation to the taxi, is that this taxi we were in happened to be owned by a taximan having a bad day. All of a sudden he said this to us and me and Daddy just looked at each other and kept on answering him with "Ooh."
"I tell you, some people have no consideration at all.
I've been waiting at the taxi stand for an hour and the passenger asks me to take him to somewhere a few minutes away. For waiting so long I only earn three(emphasising on this word veery strongly!) dollars. What the (toot) is this la. Some passengers never even bother to tip nowadays even with petrol prices going up!"
We were actually really stunned and weren't sure if he was hinting for tips or not. He was on the verge of boiling and he was capable of ramming into a tree with all the pressure in his head. The worst part was the destination we were heading too only required threesixty (: So Daddy, being quite unsure of what to do, just gave him 4Singdollars and told him to have a good day. Funny or scary? I say, Sc-unny.
6 Me and daddy are sitting outside the waiting room for our appointment. I'm drawing a bird on my sketch book and daddy says something that makes me laugh so hard, I kind of look up and throw my head back. Unfortunately, the seats outside are back to back and without realizing there's a lady behind me, I knock her head really hard ): We both kind of get shocked and before I know it, she screams "Oh my GOOD!"I panic and say I was really sorry and daddy next to me just sniggers! When she walks away after we control our laughter for a few minutes, daddy has the nerve to go,
"Maybe I should have said- No please don't blame God, that was just my daughter." Pfft.
Okaay it was funny but so embarrassing at the same time. The worst part is the clinic we were at is a psychiatric one. So to the doctors there, if you see her more often, you'll know it's because I caused her head serious injury. Aiyoh now I feel guilty. The moral of the story? Put a pillow behind your head everytime Daddy makes you laugh.
7 I COULD HAVE USED THIIS TIME TO STUDDY ):
This better have been worthit.
Enjooy (:

Have a nice day everyone (:
And don't forget to brush your teeth before you sleep.
I like the taste of mint if you were wondering (:
Oh and by the way, that's the bird that caused the collision with the woman on my head. It swelled up the next day. Ppft; Daddyohdaddy.

Swing. ):

I'm tired of myself.
If only there were such a thing invented as emotional Kleenex tissues. I would buy a mountain and stock up and up. I'd wipe of everything except happiness and contentment and be like a floating zombie with a smile plastered onto my face. But my cheeks would hurt, won't they ): Being perfectionstic has it's ups and downs. There's a chance of things being done well and then there's also the part where it crumbles faster than an apple crumble. (Nicole I'm thinking of you (: ) Be it for myself or other people theres always thaat chance that expectations or mind sets don't go the way I plan. And then, I start rolling down the hill like Jack and Jill. It's NOT fun.
.
You remember when I said that I used to rewrite my notes again and again if it were messy? The problem is it's not so easy to rub away things or events that have happened which didn't go as I planned perfectly as easy as it is to rub pencil off paper. I can't take a cloth and wipe off the way a person acts to suit me as much as I want too. I can't rub off the things I say or do just like that to please other people no matter how hard I try you knoow.
The hardest thing is trying to please yoou and mee at the same time ): I can't allow myself to act or say certain things and yet when I don't say them, I feel like wrapping myself into a crumpled wad of paper and throwing myself into the bin because it feels like I can't even use my mouth to explain what I want to say to you. When I doo say it out loud though, I feel like doing the same thing because I know it makes YOOU want to do that to me ): So puhlease la. WHAT am I supposed to do?
.
I'm frustrated with you.
But I don't know if I should be frustrated at myself.
Oh wait, I am ):
.
Upsetting people intentionally or unintentionally really makes me feel like cow poop. And no matter how hard I try not too, sometimes I can't help it okaay ): "It's called people pleasing Sarah." I know what it's called but is that so wrong Mummy? "It is when you let yourself get pulled down when things don't go; perfect." I think generally I have high expectations for people as much as I have for myself. Seeing AllAmericanCheerleaders on television who seem like they have it all really doesn't help. They seem happy with themselves and with everyone around them. So it seems right to want to be like them. Do I make sense?
.
Emotional attachment is so scary I don't even want to go cloose to it. The fear of wanting to make others happy then jeopardising my own satisfaction is such a vulnerable thing to do I know, yet seems so flirtatious. Having tried and tried to make youu guys happy, thinking I succeeded and then just falling down into the pits wasn't easy let me tell you. Some people have it all. The looks, money, brains and natural confidence and flair but some people just don't okay. I don't hold any grudges but yes, that has probably been a major cause in my puddle of self doubt thankyouverymuch. So much so that it's hard to even want to get emotionally attached and lean on someones support now because of fear that I'mnotgoodenough will just wear me out AGAIN. I don't know how it will come this time but I'm not even willing to take that chance.
.
Does that mean I've let youu do that to me ):
Because honestly, I though you never would have been capable of doing that.
Oh wait, you aren't.
My bloody expectations are sky high they make me sink so low down; that's all.
.
Sigh ):
Maybe I'll just start doing ventriloquism. I don't think puppets can let you down can they?
Oh waait, they scare the heck out of me.
Nevermind, I shall just be content with doodling people.
I sound psycho ):
.
But then again, one of my goals for the end of the year, is to be able to say and feel sincerely something like this.
It is possible, right? ):
Help.

Quiver.

If I let You go,
Does that mean Everyone will forget, Me?
Ouch, this hurts.
I'm scared ):
Help me, please?

Crack.

Soo (...)
I was outside walking in the garden when I heard my neighbor who is a five year old boy, say this to his maid. Ooh wait, let me explain firstly. He was riding on his little toy truck, you know the one which allows you to cycle around and is bright and colorful? His maid was playing with him and didn't let him into the gate when he cycled out and she told him not too.
"If you don't let me in I'm going to throw you away!"
Heehee. It really fascinates me how children think sometimes. I wonder what goes on in their little brains. Like maybe imagining wrapping his maid in a blue plastic bag and throwing her like a wad of paper into the dustbin. The next day, the rubbish man comes and brings her away while she's screaming for help. He waves goodbye not knowing that she probably will end up recycled and licks his lollipop in his other had. You know what, that actually sounds alot like murder. Oops :(
.
Sandra, very much being the one born with alot of my brothers genes was talking on the phone and prancing around my living room. You know the usual 11 year old girl behavior, giggling and gossiping like there's not another care in the world. Somehow, while she's doing this, the earphones are in her ear and the ipod in her hand. In a nutshell, she amazingly is able to listen to music and talk at the same time. Ookay I can do that too but it seems bit weird don't you think with two hearing gadgets in your ear! She finishes the conversation with glee and goes "Laalaalaa." Literally and continues prancing when suddenly, she stops. Her face turns into this frown and she looks at the floor with horror. Bending down and sighing, she then goes;
"I broke my head phones :( "
Ya I'm mean to say I laughed when she said this but reeally it was so funny! I went to see if she was just pulling my leg but noo, there it was. Her headphones broke into two because somehow while prancing, they fell out and she stepped on them. The good side of the story is? She's getting new earphones. Ppft.
.
I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO USE FACEBOOK!
(frown frown)
.
If you would know, I worry alot. I even carry my pencil box around in my tote so that if anything happens, I can poke someone right in the eyes. I bought stilettos with pointy toes so that I can whack anyone in the head too. I even contemplated once on buying pepper spray but decided against it in case I accidentally spray myself while trying to open the cover. Ppft. I hear you say paranoid! :D :D Anywho, back to the subject. I suddenly got hit by this wave of panic when I started thinking of what I'm going to turn out to be when I'm old-ER. I told mummy i might not get a job and end up working in pasar malam selling tissues. Somehow, we then got to the topic of how being a housewife is the hardest job there is. You do everything; be a cleaner, psychologist, friend, disciplinary, cook, teacher .. and you don't even get paid. Hmm, thanks for it all muummy (:
.
Daddy calls from China and asks how my day went.
"Did you go for tuition today?"
"Yup."
" How was it?"
"Okay la. My brain kinda hurts and I'm kinda tired but okay laa."
"Oh, that's good."
I kind of pause for a while then go "Uhh."
"Noo I mean? Err, aiyah, nevermind la." (You can tell even he was confused)
Heehee. I guess it's just funny contrasting the fact that I told him it was not amazing going for tuition and he said "Good." I expected something like "Oh it's okay. Bear with it till exams are over." I know he meant well but I still find that so amusing. Heehee. I have the funniest daddy in the world :D :D
.
Sandra gets bored and takes Daffodil, her hamster out of her cage. She tries to figure out what to do and a brilliant beyond brilliant idea hits her. She matchmakes Daffodil with Cookie; my dog.
"Cookie, meet Daffodil. Do you want to lick her?"
Cookie comes to the window and sniffs Daffodil the foreign object. I come and see what she's doing and laugh then continue to draw again. The next five minutes are basically filled with her saying;
"Lick cookie! Don't hurt her okay. She's the cutest thing you've sniffed right?"
After trying to convince Cookie that daffodil is like the saying 'Friends, not food.' She suddenly screams and goes
"No Cookie. Bad dog! Don't paw her! She could get squaashed!"
We then start talking about getting each our own dogs to keep in our bags like Paris Hilton. I tell her I want a chihuahua and you know what she says? She wants a poodle. o_O Haa, I L Y Sandra you funny thing. I can imagine you carrying a poodle in your bag (:

In a nutshell? I need a hobby. Or maybe a vacuum to clean the wacky from my brain. So to anyone out there, do something which somehow tickles my amusement senses and you will be listed on my blog. Start amusing me (!!) Heehee.
Toodle-loo.
Oh and I feel fishball-y. That means I feel like biting a fishball. And I also feel round. Hah (: Seriously.

Bite me.

My dog went crazy.
And then, it bit of my hair.

Now, I look like this .
And my head feels lighter.
Whee.

Cupcake Baking!
Sandra, Daddy and Me (:
So last Sunday, ya LAST Sunday, Mummy went out to church for the afternoon. That left the three of us undomesticated ones at home. Sandra got the sudden urge to bake. Blame the hormonal changes of an eleven year old but we weren't complaining because on a hot Sunday afternoon when the swimming pool is packed with little kids running around, my art inspiration hasn't hit me and worst come to worst, the telly isn't cooperating unless I choose to watch Spongebob Squarepants what else is there to do (: Daddy said he used to bake peanutbuttercookies to sell last time and claimed he makes a meean batch. Unfortunately, I despise butter(wonderwhy) and detested the idea! Ooh my English is so flowery petals could start popping out from my head :p Anywho, Sandra came up with all these flabbergasted things to make. My little sister has a veery wild imagination so no, none of the things she suggested really worked. Daddy, the street smart one, suggested we just make cupcakes which was easy and I being, the sucker for pretty looking things, wanted to ice the top of 'em. It didn't turn out too bad though. Other than the fact that I squirmed when the butter was defrosted and Daddy didn't allow me to look at it being poured it :P and it turned out a little dry? Like my grandfather would say when he tries something new; "Pass." Mummy walked into the house and immediately smelt something which fortunately was then questioned by "What's that nice smell?" Good thing she didn't arrive earlier to see the flour sugar and cracked eggs all over the table hmm? Anywho, Enjoy people (:

The stirrer.

The filler.

The supervisor.

Before.

After.

Me and the finished product.

Tadaa (:

Not bad right? (: Next we'll try a wedding cake maybe :p One that's taller than ME.
Have a great week everyone!

If you could pick happy from trees.

"I thank you for all the roses you've given me God, but all this while, I've never thanked you for giving me the thorns to start with."
Trusting that God gives us trials to lead to a beautiful rainbow is hard to grasp. Yet knowing that it's like the same concept of a cake which hasn't been ohsoprettily iced YET makes it much easier to grasp. I've been feeling kind of fuzzy the whole day (ThankyouGod) Ooh and speaking of cakes? Daddy, Sandra and me baked cupcakes FINALLY! And I have to say, they turned out preety good (: I even got to ice them so they looked like plastic ones in doll houses. Self praise is no praise I know I know but I entitle myself to it just this once. I told you, fuzzy is getting to my serotonin depleted brain. Pictures to be updated soon. Once someone buys me the little thing on the shelf that states ' Time To Waste.'
(Smile :D Smile :D)