Hey Sexayyy.
I'm missing you already ):
Despite only having gone out with you once in three months, properly,

Despite you stoning when I talk to you sometimes and going, "Uhh."

Despite your cheesy shades and checkered shoes, not to mention awesome SLR that I love,

Despite you stalling then speeding up like crazy on the jet ski and having sand water fly in my face,

Despite the fact that you are, taller than me and press my hair, mess up my hair and clap into my ear alot of the time,

Despite the fact that you take weird pictures and never smile properly, alot of the time too

Despite the fact that you have dimples on your cheeks and I don't, and near 3/4 of your friends are of the opposite gender :P :P

Despite your goofy, random, sometimes nonsensical lines and all my bimbo statements,

Despite your sky high metabolism, and ability to sit down on the couch the whole day eatin* and still have your buff shoulders,

I'm going to miss you lots you lucky cow.
Have fun in Melbourne as you always do and get low fat Gelato on behalf of me, okay?

Sarah : Ehh, how come there are duck footprints on the sand?
JoelLee : Those are seagulls laa.

I L Y sexayyyy.
.
And YOU, put a sock in it.

AAAHHH (:
I love, H20;OhSoooooooMuch.

Elmo.

I went swimming today and decided I hope I NEVER, become a taitai when I grow up. Okay being banana I admit I don't literallk know the definition of the word- taitai and Eugene, I doubt the put that on dictionary.com right?
There were two of 'em in the pool and they were talking on the top of their lungs. So much so that I know one of their sons are in Melbourne, and anothers daughter is in Singapore.
I also know that one of them thinks that once children leave for university, they don't "..like we don't exist already ): " if I were to put it into what she said.
One of 'em was also swinging her arm so vigorously, round and round in circles that when I passed her, she nearly chopped my head off. I tried to figure out what she was doing, tried to give her the benefit of the doubt that she didn't see me and was just stretching her arm but when I looked and then heard her talking sooo loud that her friend even backed away a little bit (I think it's intimidation) I laughed and reminded myself that I never, want to be a taitai.
Man they even sound funny- taitaaaaaai. (:
.
Today was my 'save the tissue' day.
I woke up, blew my nose, threw it into the bin and decided that I should feel guilty about having just wasted a tree. I repented and the next minute said, "Sarah, you're going to use as little tissue as you can today (:"
I had this sudden urge to feel cold and forbid global warming, stop all the smokers from smoking, and breath in trees like you do when you go to tree saturated gardens.
To be honest I don't know how I fared because half way through the day it slipped off my mind but yeah, I'm just hoping I used less tissue than I usually do. I feel so environmently in tune now honestly. Okay, I'll start again tomorrow and see how I do, really. Wish me luck, cause I know we all love trees!
.
I had this sudden urge to chew sugar free chewing gum.
I had this HUGEE urge to buy a Justin Timberlake fedora, it's a hat ;p
And I suddenly think old school, is cooooool.
.
I was putting on my black tanktop and I got stuck somehow halfway.
Haha, BIMBOOOO.
.
You know how my bladder is weirdly small, but I drink water like a sponge? I decided to bring two bottles instead of one so I wouldn't need to buy a bottle all the time and Germaine, said this.
Germaine : OHHH, then you can tell you're mummy you're saving five dollars a week! (Gasps) (:
Yeah, and then DaddyDaddyDaddy, I can use that to buy Cleo (:
.
And have I told you about my fetish for green tea all of a sudden?
Yeah I love it really.
And guess what, it contains a certain chemical that fights the 'F' part in food. How cool is that. "Fight it all in my body green tea, FIGHT it!" (:

.
Good luck Inspiration (:
I'm going to miss you JoelLee ):
Rachel and Germaine- what's the plaaan?
And Sloo- he said my name O_O (gasps) -inside joke.
'Taa pretties.

Evaporation.

Lovely bag, Lovely shoes, Lovely tops, Lovely, youu.
And everything I was not, I see in you it's so unfair.
It's not okay, it's not a good feeling and neither is it by any chance at all, even plausible to turn it into one. So please, enough with the, "That's okay"'s. Really ):
Because I guess you can talke the gruesome step in plastic surgery. Step into the white walled clinics of the rich and famous in Beverly Hills and look come out looking that much more amazing as Gisele Bundchen, change the structure of your nose, the structure of your chin and yes, lipo may work in some cases, but at the end of the day you still have the genes in you. You still have your, wait let me rephrase that.
I still have this genes.
.
I hate it when people get the wrong impression of it.
I hate it when people like you seem immune to the whole prospect of weight gain, and so blatently make remarks about how, "Yeah, she definatley isss." when I'm sitting right in front of you consuming something after ten because that's just how it works.
How you make remarks about how you look in the mirror, and how right in front of my face, you can say, "I look soooo *"
I hate the way the yellow lights shine in the mirror making it seem like we're in a fairytale scenario. And how you're the princess and I'm the wallpapaer in the background. I hate the way makeup makes you look even better than you already do; how it makes me feel smaller than I already feel and that is of course, in emotional terms.
I hate how blissfull you're able to make everything seem and how even if I know deep inside, I don't want any part of it, I can't help feeling degraded. Not good enough. Like I'm next to you all over again.
But right now, I'm mad at what I just read. what I just scanned over and over with my eyes trying to make it make sense.
The ten words that seem so long, so painfull, and how it revives memories all over again when I'm supposed to be working on distancing myself from it. But they're only, ten words right, and they probably mean NOTHING to you.
"That just shows how shallow, how insensitive, how thoughtless they can be, Sarah."
And yes, she is right really.
How Shallow, Insensitive, Thoughtless you really seem right now.
Yeah, you stay skinny. Stay that way. You're lucky you have super metabolism, that size, skinny. Maybe you really are.
But I'll stick to knowing it just doesn't work that way. Google, Wikipedia, do whatever it is, just find out what it really means and try to understand it.
Would you? That might seem a little less, Shallow, Insensitive, Thoughtless maybe.
Geez.

Minimalized.

It's one a.m and school is starting in six hours.
I haven't packed my bag and I'm tired.
Hence, the title (:
Good Morning, world (:
.
I cut my hair and while sitting on the leathered seat realised it was actually quite cool how you don't feel the pain when your hair gets snipped off.
Before,

and after..
Production while the speaker was speaking.
Anderson, it helps me concentrate okaay.
Kloo, here's to wearing a heart on your sleeve (:
I miss you guys.
.
I looove Hannah.
It sends tingles down your spine seeing little kids rush up to their mummies really (:
I want a little kid too.
Oh, and I told JoelLee, my daughters' names are going to be, Belle and Faith.
I don't have a boy name yet due to the bursting bubble of me naming my son, 'Damien' by mummy.
That's okay, I shall come up with one soon, I knooow it (:.
Aaand, he's okay too.
(...)
Nah, he's lovely.
Romeo will sit with me in a rocking chair and knit if I don't succeed in getting married; I made him promise me already, so there.
SandraLee put him on a chair which he couldn't jump down from, him being a meniscule little thing.
He whinedwhinedwhined and finally gave up and actually grunted.
I saved him and brought him down (:
Oh the things we do to our Romeo, I mean Sandra :P.
'Taa lovelies.
Have a greaaat week.
-And Wonderwoman; you are the music in meeeeeee.

Tick.

I got my hair cut today.
I got it cut in the same salon, and same chair I had two years ago; freaky.
I didn't really know what the hairdresser meant to do to it. Because just two hours ago, I was drenched in egg, flour and water and me being, me- I'm not exactly too fond of, ingredients. I didn't like it physically, feeling sticky and covered in goo, nor did I like the fact of having unchemicaly changed molecules of substances on me. Nonetheless, I had survived and was now, sitting in the chair waiting for my hair to be, done with.
I sighed, a meaningless sigh and wiggled a little in the leather seat.
The leather seat which I sat on with a encyclopedia beneath my yellow coloured fruit skirt when I was five so I could see myself in the mirror.
The leather seat I had dreaded when I was ten because of a disastorous incident where my hair was cut too short for my liking and I discovered, that pulling it doesn't work like when you pull on bubblegum; the elongation process isn't that easy.
The leather seat I had sat on with Mummy beside me and a tear in her eye at 9 pm at night, bright lights that seemed blinding in my dry contact lenses, 'loose' uniform two years ago.
And after he has cut it, I looked around at my strands of hair scattered on the floor in the leather seat I was sitting in, now.
.
Metabolic talk and a Sarah sitting in the back seat, wondering how that meaningless conversation had somehow, helped.
Lack of Fluoxetine, leads to lack of endorphines for the day.
I felt like popping like the balloon, breaking like the egg, being washed off like the flour and water that had gone down the pipes, just like that.
.
I learnt about Ruth and how she left anything behind just that morning. And about how she had found pure fulfilment, satisfaction, bliss when she did.
Sure she didn't have a husband for a while after hers died and the future didn't seem that bright in terms of her getting married again but she left anyway. Left to follow Naomi because it was the right thing to do, the way God would have wanted her to go, the more sacrificial way. She ended up marrying Boaz, someone who loved her, cared for her and was meant for her by God. Sure staying behind would have meant that the opportunity to marry more people of the opposite sex would have been higher. The variety would have been wider. But then, she wouldn't have met, Boaz. Mr, 'Meant For Her'. She ended up happy. If you were to put it into vocabulary now, estatically happy.
In a nutshell I learnt that sometimes sacrificing the good things, NOW is important, necessary, crucial in order to receive the 'planned for' things, later, the things that are supposed to happen, would be better if they happened, the things He wants to have happen.
But ironically speaking, sometimes sacrifice is needed in order to get to the better side of things. Sometimes leaving the better things behind is required, to end things perfectly. And then I thought to myself; if only sacrifice wasn't such a, scary word; wasn't a word that usually tilts itself to the negative.
But then I guess to a certain extent, that would be like having an inch and asking for a mile.
.
It was cold when JoelLee and me stepped into the Curve.
"See Ko, you don't have as much body fat as I do."
"Noooo, it's just really cold la."
"We can go in through here."
"Isn't it the same through this entrance?"
"No, I like this way better :p"
Finally, we both agreed that being as cold as it was, steamboat was the right thing to put into our tummies that night.
I wanted something TomYum and he didn't mind, so we sat in this little corner, with an oddly long table and he started playing with his chopsticks.
.
I want, a fedora. I think Justin Timberlake looks, gooood (:
It was good, Yesss they're good and Yesss I'm going to miss you.
I know how you feel, because I know how she feels and I know I don't want that to happen too.
You haven't uploaded my picture, when my blog is near saturated with yours, you know?
Giggle, giggle, giggle.
Omg, I don't look sixteen?
Like my 'Little Miss (emphasizes) Whooooops?
*Ringring* and you rush to your room Sarah.
.
I realise you're going to be twenty this year. I realise I'm going to be sixteen.
It seems like just yesterday when we were running around Target and then looking for a JuiceWorks in Melbourne. And now, you're going back to cool autumn and I'm telling you how I don't want you to go back just yet, in a humid, hot steamy steamboat place in Malaysia. So, ironic really.
I realise that I told Rachel I can't believe how we're already in Form 3 last year. And remembered how when the year started, Daddy asked me how I wanted to celebrate my sixteenth.
I remembered how Mummy told me that Sandra and her friends were so adorable, talking about powder, handbags and shopping. The image of her sucking her toes and running about in her bright blue shirt with a flower in front rang clearly in my head and I shuddered in the steam.
And I saw the two year old image of the SkinnyLatte, and a new image of a fishball in TomYum soup.
How ironic, really.
What happened to a a year ago, a week ago, a day ago, a minute, ago?
For a while, it seemes like the stopwatches you have in the Science labs, aren't even for real. Because when you look at it logically, time just flies, too fast. And no matter how much you click on the button, stamp on the glass plane covering the ticking hands on the clock, time just doesn't stop.
.
I washed up, drank my calorific-less green tea and pulled the covers right over my head. It was time for me to grow, right? Then I paused, and thought to myself;
Whoa, what happened to this morning when I didn't even realise it was time to get out of bed?
I dont know what happened next but I woke up the next morning and it's almost as if dejavu happened.
It's bewildering to think how something so scary is actually meant to be so, natural.

True? (:

What's, 'Wearing your heart on your sleeve'?
Really? (:

Romeo.

Check out my NEW, boy toy.
He makes me feel like Paris Hilton.(Giggle, Giggle, Giggle, Giggle, Giggle, Giggle, Giggle)
I typed 'Giggle' seven times if you realised (:
I looked for a four leaf clover on the way to H20 but couldn't find one.
And you know what? ;
It stops here, before it goes too far. Before as Jack goes (haha), "My heart has dropped to my diagphram."
"Hel-Looooooo"; PPFT.

Rambo; is going to buuurst.

What time is it?
"It's time for you to get a watch."
Ppft, youu that just suddenly popped into my brain.
I'm not dead despite the lack of updates, I just have had nothing to say legasp. My brain cells are dying and my test marks are going to very soon I'm sure. I've been really last minute with studying and form 4 is being mean, BOOO ):
I haven't talked to my Sloo for days, eek.
Romeo barks and bites my toes, no surprise much more than usual recently. He had his injection for vaccination and was limping due to a small part of his butt being I think, swollen. He's fine and dandy and just showered yesterday so he smells good, lavenderish really.
JoelLee is going back next Wednesday, I don't want him too. Ohh, and you haven't uploaded my picture. I'm dissapointed really. The plan is to go to the Curve night market and empty his pocket with all the ringgits he won't be using in aAussieland when he returns. But wait, he's not supposed to know that.
That's about all I can think off just right now. I'll let the rest of the pictures do the talking. Wait, explaining because if you take that sentence literally, pictures can't actually, talk. Yeh, that was lame I know. I told you my brain is dying.
.
Do you spot anything about Daddy?
Look closer.
Closerrr, noo? Hee, he's using a cow plaster on his toe. How cutesy..
Singapore.
It was good, thank you(x3), you and you.
Had a 'brief' encounter with Nicole babe and we still managed to do our thing in the not so glamorous toilet huh?
The collage is due to the repeated, "AGAINNN!"'s due to unsatisfactory first timers. The usual awesome plan is to go to Zara, pick up a pile of clothes and go to the kids section to try 'em on but due to unforseen circumstances, we had to make our own clothes out of, ahem toilet paper but they're still cool right? And heey, we save the trees man. Save the trees (:
Oh wait, we actually don't considering we didn't use the toilet paper after but we saved the sheep then right?

Did our usual move about thing until we finally,finally,got a proper shot.Nicole Babe,
It was good catching up with you really.
Remember I think you're awesome gorgeous and I'll be praying and remembering you always.
I can't wait till we get to go out and ask random people where Sentosa Island is on Orchard road again.
You stay strong and fight hard because you can and you're worth it.
Or I'll poke you with a pretzel, butterfree don't worry ;)
I miss uber colourful clothes, I really do. I just tried on my black dress with my huge red belt that day, remember?
Love, SarahLee.
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Valentines Day.
Sarah : Daddy so where are you and Mummy going to go on Valentines day?
Daddy : we're not going anywhere.
Sarah : Huh, why not?
Daddy : Mm, I guess we don't celebrate Valentines day, because it should be celebrated everyday, right?
-Yes, it should (: So, Happy Valentines day to everyone even if it was, last week. I personally don't believe in having a Valentine because then the Valentine really, to put it bluntly vanishes the next day completely but like you said-
"Today is your day to feel special."
So, yeah, you're my Valentine everyday if it makes you feel special, really. (: Thank you for the picture baby buddy (:
Thank you for, ahem.
Thank you Sara for the eyesore on Facebook and being my long distance Valentine (:
Thank you for the, "..today is the day you deserve to be special."
Thank you for the seashells (:
.
Happy Bithday, Mummy.
I love you. Because I think you're amazing I really do.Romeo, you really potong sweets.
HumanHumanHumanHuman, Dog, Human.Haha, and I love KongKong too.
He watches HighSchoolMusical when Sandra and me are watching, you know? (:.
Valentines Day in Church.
Was fun, decorations were supposed to be under me so I spent the whole night, till fouram cutting polistyrene hearts. Ooh, how fun.
Daddy helped me, ThankGod for Daddys (: and when he was sweeping up the mess from the white snowflakes that had formed all around my bed;
Sarah : Daddy! don't sweep my hearts I need them!
Daddy : Ohh, sorry girl.
(He starts sweeping the area around me and then suddenly;)
Sarah : Daddyyy! Don't sweep, MEEEE.
I woke up at ten the next morning and started painting polistyrene hearts.
I finished at one in the afternoon and rushed straight to church with a teensy migraine. But I survived and Rachel Ho you did a awesome job organizing everything (:
Thanks for coming too, youu. Hee, hilarious.
I didn't get pictures at all but I'll tell you we had YeeSang, joy.
The steamy ones at the table. We had steamboat so literally (:
Zoe, Lauren, Sarah and Cassie..
Zoe, gimme your earing.
I like robot earings (:
Zoe : You took a picture of my earing and not meee?*snap*
Naaah :p
Poor girl has conjunctivitis. Get well soon sweets..
Sarah. says:
I Love You, Sloo.
ToodleLOO (: says:
Go swim and think of me =]
I will Sloo, I do all the time you know? (:
.
You know, apparently if an eyelash falls out and you make a wish, it comes true.
Yi Lin, yes we'll be eyelash buddies okay? (You have to scroll down in the link (: )
We should go to the curve and take Rachel with us to Ms Read for her brownieee.
I want the, 'Fat People are Harder to Kidnap' shirt.
Hugsss sweets.
.
'Taa lovelies.

Crimsons Contrast.

Message :( / ) ?
It was the same scenario, again. Same scenario as everyday but instead of stopping, thinking and wondering if I was bored of it, I bluntly asked the same six words.
"Mummy do I look fat in this?"
It's been three months since I last went down and this time it somehow felt more, unfamiliar. More intimidating, more distant.
That's a good thing, right? But how come then it feels so, scary?
Sideways, front, back I looked. I went down and I didn't bother to count. It seemed and looked, less than usual- that's good.
The aircond was chilly in the car and I got goosebumps at a period of time. I smiled, an unknown smile and looked out the window to see barren brown land. I realised I heard nothing except the radio playing, and realised how stupid the silence was. Why was it even, there? And how come it felt like, I couldn't feel anything?
"ChaiTeaLatte, small please."
"Mm, I asked for low-fat, did you tell her to use, lowfat?"
"Daddy, I can't stand thosetype of people, idiots."
I was wearing my blue tank top and my board shorts material skirt. I felt, scared. Because it had been three months and you know, what happens if like Singapore which according to Daddy is 'Constantly undergoing somesort of renovation', I had gotten renovated but not seen it?
I clipped up my hair, tied it into a pony tail and decided to let the too short wisps of hair fall; it's supposed to be the messy look. I stopped and though, this ones just messy, not look. But left it anyway. Because I couldn't be bothered- both ways it'll still look awkward.
Waited, walked and waited. Filled the time with, walk.
I went upstairs to see if Nicole was awake, but she was sleeping. I smiled, and told him "I'll come back later tell her, yeah?"
Lavender walls, sequined pillows, a fashion icon and a black leather chair.
"I can see you blushing, Sarah."
I smiled and gushed, because I remembered how my face turns red everytime I'm embarassed. Now, was I really? I pushed up the pillow and hugged myself tinily, felt and wished but remembered I was sitting in your chair and somehow, it being in that position made it feel a little queasy. I loved your dress, I wouldn't mind having something like that. I remember how Nicole and me would analyse your clothes after every group and say how it'll be impossible for us to pull that off.Yet we finally bought huge belts and a dress to pair it with, called you from downstairs and played the 'guess who we're dressed up as' game back in the yellow litted ward.

I was scared, very scared. But I left, laughing and somehow feeling like I stepped up a step, and could see the world from a slightly higher view than twenty/twentyfive minutes ago.
"Tell her I said Hi, okay? And that I lovedddd the picture on her blog. She looked, soo nice (:"
"I will, I will. And you, have funnnn yeah? *wink*"
Did I mention I love, yongtaufoo? I like, soya bean and apparently, it's low in saturated fat, high in protein.
"Do you remember the first day, Sarah?"
"Honestly, it felt like a blur, really."
" .. Daddy's hand, crying, home."
And then I vaguely remembered. The vagueness became clearer each second somehow. A green jacket, denim skirt, tears and fruits.
"You should, let me choose, right."
July? No, May.
"Hey, I'll be sixteen. *gushes*"
I go to buy my H20 and quench my thirst. I breathe deep breaths; exhale then inhale again. I think off how I saw a little baby on a tv programme and told myself how I can't wait till I have one of my own. But I contemplate and remember my stand about adopting children, hah.
"Wow, I looove your room. Nic told me on the phone and we were both so excited, we were OhMyGawshing together. I looove, Greece."
It's amazing how you steal the words from my brain and make them make sense even when they sound like complete, gibberish. "Do you get what I mean, does it sound stupid, I mean youknow? "
You do, and explain. Explain in a way that helps a little because then I seem less shallow for a moment. Less self centered. More; Sarah.
I gush and explain about him, her, them and me.
You tell me how 'me' can sometimes be exactly like a split personality and I'm bewildered for a second. Scared actually because I don't know which one seems more appealing.
More life, more relationships, Sarah.
I walk out, tell you how happy I am, and then smile. SMILE, Anita.
Thank you (:
Mummy and Daddy walk in and a white folded paper is handed to me. I'm slightly taken aback but then I freeze when I hear what Mummy says to me.
"Sarah, it's from her. She was here just a while ago and she wanted to pass you this."
I rush out and see if you're still there before I even open the note to read and I nearly shriek when I see you there.
I called your name and we both shriek, right? (: It's not just any hug, it's a hug that means sooo much because it lasts for a fewfewfew seconds and it's so, warm. So, caring, so close to you after so long. I feel a tear coming down but it somehow gets held back when I see your face.
You look really pretty you know? I like your earings your white polo top and your denim three quarter pants. Beautiful.
"Yeah, my Daddy works there." I use the word Daddy too and smile when I hear it come from you. It somehow feels like security word at times, Daddy.
The paper is in my hands as I walk out after giving you a final hug, feeling fuzzy and dazed. My fingers feel like Jello and my chest feels like it's either going to burst or sink inside me because I feel so, confused. Yet it's the nicest confusion I've ever felt.
I make my way upstairs and yohoho, you're awake.
And wearing a Little Miss Sunshine tee.
"Omg, I have your shirt!"
We camwhore again after like, monthsss right after I tell you I've seen the evil one with a surprisingly normal tummy, heh.
Gracie and Paul are nice, you're lucky babe. And I like their glasses too, really!
I miss you already, oodles of noodles. Fish? :p
I walk down and remember the paper in my hands and want to give something to you. But it's nearly five and I don't know how much time I have. I remember my pink notebook, bird and your kites and rainbows and magically, a pen comes out and I start adding in the rainbow and kite. Because they just fit in the bird picture, you know?
"What if she's not there anymore, hurryyyyyy."
Lights, tears, a hug, and "are you okay?"
I slip it into your hands and uncauntiously hurry off because I need to find Daddy and Mummy.
"Take care, okay?"
I pray and pray. Mumble pleasepleaseplease, over and over again.
Pray Sarah, just pray- I did.
Thank you, so much, I love you.
Chinese, yoghurt(yay) and shopping. I've consumed as much calcium, it's equivelent to a cow I think to myself.
LittleMisss', electric blue and black, and heels. I sigh and fall asleep.
I think off how my room is so much like it was two years back. Same positioning of furniture, same colour tone. But I see how my empty wall has been replaced with a butterfly, my desk with photo frames, my cupboard with colourful clothes to a certain extent and my night table with my polkadotted bible.
Sure I complain about how my aircond is weird at times and how I want red walls instead of dull white but, I'm actually a little okay with the way it is now at times. Or maybe I just don't know what to do.
And it's actually, a little similiar, you know.
I mean, I'm not completely okay with me. "You still see it as, distorted."- Yes I do.
But like the butterfly added to my wall and picture frames added to my desk, my hair is longer now then it was before. And I can't wait, till it grows to become like, yours.
Thank you, and You.

Dangggggg.

Chinese People, Cards and Sushi.
Lauren, wanna go to the loo? (:PhyeBeng and his camwhoring skills.Quotes Lauren, "Facebook! I can steal all your pictures now."Card timee.Meet the posse;
Cassie.PhyeBeng, HAHAHA.JoelLee.Lauren, and Sarah.Hey Cassie, I realised we're both kinda potong in both the pictures.
SmileSmileSmile*card*Smile.SmileSmileSmile*card*Smile.Up and Down the river, anyone?
'Minus Fifteen!"
"Five points!"
"Aaahh."Daang ):
ToodleLOO (: says:
Remember. Belle means beautiful yah?
And why is that so hard to believe?
You'll be on my neck and you'll just be, there.

"That's okay, you don't have to understand, really."
7:15am and we left the house; how come so late, Daddy?
"I'm sorry, I forgot to on the alarm."
Mmm.
Further away, further.
"I didn't wake up late you know."
I blink back hard, but not as hard as I thought I would have to because my tear duct isn't that full yet in the morning. Maybe it's because the eight plus glasses of water I usually drink is only, two glasses full in my bladder. I turn around and the car is gone, gone.
I pray in my head, a distant one, like as far as the white people are and walk past, hloding my breath. Phew; not caught this time for ankle socks and no name tag.
I imagine a, "So were you late?" and me shaking tinily with a humongous head.
"I don't know, I mean does it sound, stupid that I'm saying that?"
"No, it doesn't I get what you mean. I feel it too sometimes."
It's not jealousy, it's not envy and it's definately not hate.
It's just; insecurity, inferiority, and lowselfesteem. Yeah right, what about- truth?
14, and awesome. New and brilliant. Young and tall, slender, awesome.
How come it's not fair, at all?
"It's okay yeah, not weird. I get what you mean."
I don't get myself though. How long more, Sarah?
You tickled me. As we ran the other way, and you somehow understood.
"Oh man, Germ not that way pleasee."
"Okay, we'll use the other, turn here, NOW!"
Our white shoes are dancing softly on the floor in the midst of the crowd but we make sure it's not loud anyway so noone hears.
*Taptap*
Oh, MyGawsh. One word answers. No, Yes, Err.
"Still there?"
"I have noo idea *giggles*"
I put the ticket in and walk in the horendous aqua blue into the airconditioned shop and we take a seat in the corner.
SugarFree, Lowfat, Mm NoWhippedCream please? Daddy smiles and he almost repeats it the same time as me because maybe; he knows.
"I'm sorry, you know right?"
"Yeah, I know and understand and I don't take it to heart, really."
I smile and he asks me a question. He bribes me with salad dressing and I win (:
"Boy, or girl? Just answer one question Yes, or No and I'll stop bugging you :p"
"You know, Daddy, if I answer that one question it basically solves everything already. So no, I dunno. And please, can I have my salad dressing back? :p"
I take it back from him and he finishes his lunch, waiting for me to finish mine as usual.
"You know, we don't take it to heart Sarah."
It's motivation that keeps me going, but I'm terrified that that has just, dissapeared. Dissapeared like the image has. The image that I want back, badly but don't know why. It's so ironic, don't you think?
"Daddy, tell him I said hi and I missed them both :D"
"I won't be around tomorrow, I'm going to Singapore."
Singapore.
I asked myself, "How long more?"
"I'm praying that maybe one day, you'll get over it and see how temporary it is, girl. I don't know but I'm praying you know?"
Somehow, I don't think I am though; I'm sorry, I really, think I am.
We left the airconditioned shop and I was smiling. Because it feels like, forever. Nonetheless it was good, so thank you (:
"I tolddd, you."
(Laughs) - Tall, Trees, Rain.
Feels kind of like, a jelly worm in the twisted packet of gummies, weird but comfy at the same time.
"So how was it, huh?"
"Erm, I dunno *smiles*"
But then I stop and remind myself, "I don't like letting people in because I'd rather not take the chance of getting hurt." It's been replayed over and over my head like a broken record that has lost it's melody. But I remind myself that it was once a hit a favourite, a security and hang on with the strength of that part left. That bittersweet strenght that is so, bitter yet sweet. Confusing, really.
.
Sarah. says:
Nope.
Yeah no la I'm really NOT interested la, like it's just a Oh he's not baddddd thing.
Sarah. says:
You knoww?
Sarah. says:
I love my H2o the best.
jo*like a heart needs a beat says:
dont worry, thats quite normal mhm i know.. like you think he's cute but ah well, cant be botherred kinda thing
Sarah. says:
And my Aussiessss (:
jo*like a heart needs a beat says:
AHAHAH
jo*like a heart needs a beat says:
OF COURSE dont forget them!
Sarah. says:
Yeah exactly.
Like, gimme H2o anyday and I'm contented.
jo*like a heart needs a beat says:
Aww
Sarah. says:
I'm gonna transport you three back on a super jetplane.
jo*like a heart needs a beat says:
woohoo, tell me the time and I'm soo there
Yes, I miss my Aussies. Soo much that I would gladly ransack JoelLee's room, find a toy plane and with my fingers, make it work.
I'll be praying for you prayer buddy. We'll go watching sunsets on a fabulous open roofed car one day, yeh?
And Sloo, you know I missmissmiss you (: I saw the LittleMissStar you got for me, *blingbling*, I remembered our sunnies. And I'm going H2oing soon. Awesome, yeah? -Random note, I had Chemistry today.
I'm confused, you know?
"I won't be around tomorrow, I'm going to Singapore."
Singapore- yeh I really am. It's scary beyond measure but I'm going with the parents. And God, and hey, Sara's gonna be on my neck.
Like a fish in the sea. One fish, in that hugeeee, sea.
"Mummy, I want to be a starfish, possibly a pretty one, please?"
I'm hoping you'll see one day it's all just, temporary.
Yeah, maybe one day. But right now, I highly doubt so.

Ammateur.

The notgoodenough reflection through the shiny piano was enough to catch me off guard. Enough to make me feel bigger, shallower; fatter than I already had when I woke up. Disgusted I opened my white leather bag and looked inside my handphone pouch to check if I had gotten any messages, then retreating to turn it onto silent mode. I saw my Butterfly on my screen, and closed it when the message box was empty.
Nothing but magic behind.
14 year old, amazing.
14 year old, everything I had not been before.
My throat began to swell and I had-Bambi eyes.
"No Sarah, don't here."
The reflection didn't fall onto my blind spot and I stared for a few seconds, thought and quickly glanced away. The swelling hurt more each second and I was starting to make Bambi look bad.
I felt a tear form and looked up, wiped it away like I would when I had just yawned. The difference was that yawning doesn't hurt your throat.
Look, here. Why aren't you when I need you too?
Snap this angle, that.
Flawed both ways; correct it Sarah.
More tears, more dissapointments, more dissatisfaction.
Disgusting.
14 year old at the back, awesome.
Lose, smaller, thinner, better. Not this size, not this way, not you.
Another day, another struggle. But after it passes it's just like it never did happen. Like it was a faux I made up in my head.
"..-but always with valour." I googled that word and found out it means something to the extent of brave. I didn't feel that brave today.
Come to think of it I never really ever did.
"When we're on our knees,
That is, perhaps,
The strongest we'll ever be."
I didn't really feel the valour when my throat was swelling up, when I had, Bambi eyes.
I couldn't really feel strong when in the midst of a few hundred people, I was restling inside. And that's acceptable right?
I'm sorry I couldn't really concentrate. I'm sorry I was angry and the temptation to jeopardize everything was so strong, I snapped literally. I'm sorry I didn't sing and focus.
But I asked myself how long it would last. And how come logically speaking, having two sides of the best was not possible? Why couldn't I be of a certain size, obtain a certain look, and still grasp that level of happiness?
How come I can't have two of the things I desperately want?
2 Corinthians :10
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
I don't feel strong, valour at all really.
But then I ask myself how long is this going to last. How long more till I either reach contentment, or reach destruction to a level I'm satisfied with. I don't know which one seems more appealing but this morning, the second one seemed best.
I'm scared really, but
"At least being able to talk about it with someone you never would have expected to before means that you're on the right path."
So how come the destructive part still seems so much more appealing?
How come I don't feel valour and security?
How come I don't know what I'm feeling at all, but know I don't like this sizelookshape, everything right now?
I'm like a snowflake in a glass globe. I get shaken and either fall on top of the ground in a not bad position, or get burried under Rudolph the Reindeer's sleigh.
I miss you, you know. And how do you stay so; strong really?

Chinese New Year, day two.

Minimum elaboration for this post okay?
Headed over to have DimSum lunch with KongKong and the family.
Picture curtesy of the boy who has an SLR, JoelLee.
(Awesome elaboration already huh?)

The three of us; JoelLee, Me and SandraLee started playing with our dimsum sauce and each created our doodles.
JoelLee's.
V for Vendetta impresionist, notice how his drawing is the most sinsiter compared to;

SandraLee's which is a happy sun

and mine which doesn't make sense at all. But focus, we're talking about sinister here!

The Lee cousins.
Sandra, Sarah, Joel, Cheryl, Yvonne- Lee (:

Our small family- 1/4 of the big one.

And the complete portrait (:

Mummy.

SLR boy- he has dimples (:

SandraLee.

And miscellanous shots.
From a point and shoot *hintsDaddy, hints*

That's about it. I'm going now.
Urgh I just lost two hours of sleep to Blogger. You're not that nice you know ):
'Taa pretties have a greaat week.
Sloo and Kloo, I miss you guys more than ever.

Sexist, maybe?

Tears that can't be seen but hurt so badly when it gets choked down your throat.
Tears that sting your eyes when you look at the pictures but don't trickle down your face.
Tears that seem to accuse everyone else, but in the end only seem to make sense when they point back at yourself.
Tears that I want to cry but aren't coming out, like they're just stuck in my throat and my eye ducts are clogged.
"I don't think you should Sarah. Unless you're one hundred percent comfortable, are you?"
Don't fall for it, don't think about it, you won't let it happen to yourself again.
I psych myself and think of the logical only, although feelings are stronger at the moment. And I get stuck in between, till I fall asleep at two thirty in the morning. But the next day I wake up and it's all gone, like it never happened.
I miss you so much, I miss the feeling of knowing you were somehow although not visible, there.
Signing into your now private blog doesn't feel like it's enough.
Wearing you around my neck and on my feet, definately isn't.
"Hey darling.. Missing you guys already. Wish cny was longer! Anyway had a great time, har gow ;p hugs! You raise meeee uppp "
"Goodnight Sarah, I'm going first is that okay?"
"Night Sarah, I'll see you tomorrow, okay? *hugs*"
I smile and get back to doing my Chemistry question. The stupid Chemistry question which doesn't seem to make sense to me at all.
I wait and try to solve it. Wait, wait and finally do because Mummy helps me. She helps me, I smile and understand and then, she goes to sleep.
"Goodnight girl." She hugs me and leaves the room.
And noones around except the buzzing of the fan and the bright glare from the light in the study room, above my head.
I waited, and it was eventually done.
My greatgranduncle got bitten by his own dog. If you put it in easy words, his dog bit him; oh wait that's what I said. That's like Romeo biting me, just after I gave him a bath. Romeo biting Sandra even after she plays with him, day in and day out.
So similiar to the word; betrayal. Of course, it wouldn't be betrayal if I hadn't taken the initiative to clean him in the beginning. It wouldn't be betrayal if Sandra didn't bother to play with him each time he begged and licked her toes. Because when you're not fond of something, it just doesn't seem to matter that much.
That, really meant alot to me. Because somehow I read it at the time I needed to the most. I decided to see if yoou had updated, right when I hoped you did and found the post. This, time right now.
You, know what I don't want to bother. I didn't want to and I nearly did. But I think not bothering, drawing away and just not imagining is the safest bet to take.
"Knowing your personality, Sarah it's better not to hurt yourself. Because you're such a perfectionist. That a single thing that doesn't seem right, ends up being a huge mistake."
Yes I amm perfectionisitic. Yes, things didn't go, perfect and I do feel effected. So why bother letting people in, really. Why bother giving up the perfectionistic streak, when it already feels so deeply embeded, positioned, permanently engraved inside?
The cut on my toes is hurting badly but, don't bother.
You know, each time I see her, I pray for her.
That she won't come in contact with sizes like you.
Won't come into contact with numbers that low.
Won't come in contact with images that 'perfect'.
Won't ever hear from guyslikeyou.
It infects like rust infected my bicycle handle when I was five. Although it was fixed, it never could ring the bell the same as it could before, you know?
Hypocritical, fake, deceiving, shallow.
"That's how the industry makes good money I guess. By getting you to buy buythreegetonefree books. Although you only really need one, you end up buying three."
Seems, shallow somehow, doesn't it?
It really hurts. It's internal definately not external. Maybe that's what makes it hurt even more.
"Isn't Gisele Bundchen pretty now. She really is and you know it, Sarah."
I think that's about it.
It's 2:15 in the morning, I'm not waiting anymore.
I feel, pathetic.
That's okay cause it should be gone in the morning when I wake up, right? It better be.

Ecstasy, hidden in pink.

You know how when you go to Coffee Bean and order an iced tea drink, you're supposed to add your own dose of sugar inside with the sugar syrup they give you?
We went there for lunch today, the small group of us Lee's and Sandra ordered a tea drink. She wanted it to be sweet as it comes unsweeted and she decided to add a little sugar.
She walks to the counter, takes a packet of sugar, next to the sugar syrup, comes back to the table, opens the packet and trinkles little sugar cubes down the icy cold tea.
"I can taste the sugar particles, Daddy."
"That's because you're supposed to use the syrup!"
I am so tickled right now (:
I have the funniest sister every, and I'm soo happy.
"Don't you know, that sugar packets are meant for hot drinks because they need the heat to dissolve? The syrup is meant for cold tea, San."
"Ohhh, I never knew that laa."
See the sugar particles that- didn't dissolve?
Heh (:
.
Narcissm time!
You knoow, a few days ago I used to be sad.
So sad and depressed I used to bite people.
See?
Quite disturbing, really and thennnn;
I saw it.
A pink Jansport bag hanging on the rack of World of Sports.AAAAHH (:I tried not to succumb, really.
But I felt it calling me, "Saraah, buy me it's destinyyy. (:"
So I did, and I don't really regret somehow.
Ooh I'm so dwelling in it's PINKness now.
Daddy : Sarah, don't you already have a Jansport bag?
Sarah : Yeah Daddy but this one is PINK (:*Giggles uncontrolably* And guesswhatguess what; I can go COCKEYED!
COCKEYEDDDD!
I'm dwelling in the stupidest fascination, really.I think I need a hobby, don't you?
Edited- Eugene anymore mistakes? (: All hail the spelling Nazzi!

-Smile, awesome.

I'm feeling;
So Inferior, right now compared to youu.
"I don't like letting people in because I'd rather not take the chance of getting hurt."
Shallow; danggg Sarah.

CNY, Day One.

The first day of celebrating everything, RED.
It's tradition to give tea to the older people in my family so we did.
And I now think teacups are actually, pretty cool (: Don't you? Want to have tea with me and dwell in my amusement?

The girl cousins. My family is pretty small but yeah (:
We entertain oursleves okay, right? We hang tissues from car windows and play cards- like wow. Cheryl.Yvonne.Sandra.
Guess what she's thissss close to being as tall as me.
Maan, I remember her playing with her toes and me squeezing her in my lap when she was a year old. Now, she wears mini skirts and earings :p
HoneyBunny.You have to take, a million shots and persuade him eaach time before yoou get him to smile reasonably properly.
Hence the many shots. Honestly, I wanted one but he didn't cooperate in all of them so I succumbed and did stupid faces with him.
You made me drop so low as to make faces in front of kongkong; uhh ):But we managed to get a reasonably decent one alas.
You, JoelLee are soo uncooperative (:
You owe me a calamari salad, and a wonderful date.And you don't see this very often, really. The three of us together.
SarahLee, JoelLee, SandraLee.Sarah : Hey you knoow you twoo, we don't look alike, at all. Right?Sandra gets bored and writes on the whiteboard- GongXiFaCai, angpowlahlai.
Daddy comes in and sees the second part of the sentence and goes, "Saaan (:"
She denies having written angpowlahlai (which apparently means, give me angpows) and this whole debate on who wrote the mysterious 'rude' sentence begins. She says, "Daddy, maybe youu wrote it!" and to prove he didn't, he picks up the pen and writes in his own handwritting (the first line). I decided I want to write too although I have absolutely no point to prove and write mine (the third line).
Gawsh, the things a Daddy does with his daughters when noones looking..
OhMyGawsh (:
Meet JoelLee.
A secret pink handbag lover and he loves to pose, don't you?
Ain't he adorable?
Calling all scary, terrifying woman; he's single (:He wants someone baaadly (:
(And you're in this with me by the way, woman and cousin (: ) -inside joke.
.
Okay, I know this is a tad bit humiliating post for JoelLee, but I'm sorry. A sister's got to do what a sisters got to do, right? And you know deep inside, I still love you and will gladly play with matches in the toilet with you when Mummy and Daddy don't know (:
Meet the lovely couple.
Things are, awkward at first.But they start to warm up.They get to talking.And he makes her laugh (:There's an awkward silence and he decides to attempt to impress her.
He thinks, and thinks, and finally comes up with something(...)
Are yoou, ready for it?

(...)
Are you sure?

(...)
Very, very, very sure?

RAWRRR !!!
She's not impressed, but he accepts the fact.Bursts out laughing.
I'm out of control till Mummy actually pokes me and tells me to calm down. I eventually do.
And no doubt, that was the highlight of my day.
Yayy (:

And that is day one of Chinese New Year, done with. I'm actually pretty, relieved.
I'm off to bed now.
Take care and have a great day tomorrow pretties.
Love, love always.
Oh, and I can ponytail my hair up now- it's growing x)

Ironic.

The pool had never felt that hot.
The rain had never felt so, annoying.
And being in the pool, while it was raining had never seemed so, unfamiliar.
And it seemed like the things I had gotten so attatched to and comfortable with had suddenly become so, foreign, slippery, unknown.
The small cut I had on my toe seemed to kill, although compared to cuts I had before, bigger cuts before, this one was just a meniscule spot.
I think you looked terrific with your pink handbag. Gender confusion huh? (:
"I miss her like, alotalotalot, Daddy."
"Mm Sarah, your earings are nice (:"
"Your dress is so pretty, che."
"It's been ages since I've hugged you Daddy."
"The last time was a few months ago, and even then it seemed a little weird right?"
"Yeah, I'm glad I'm talking to you now, too."
"Yeah right, it isn't really thaat bright, seriously."
It's scary because as amazing as the words might have sounded, either being spoken by or heard, it feels so much safer keeping a distance from them. It feels how it feels, when you don't jump off a cliff as fun and adrenaline pumping it may seem because you know- you won't live to see anything else after.
It feels how it feels when you don't go into a swimming pool when it's lightning and thundering like the worlds going to end, as fun as it may seem.
It feels like it feels when Jamie doesn't want to let Landon in at the begining of 'A Walk to Remember' because she just knows how huge the possibilities are of her getting hurt.
I don't like letting people in because I'd rather not take the chance of getting hurt.
Like, that exactly.
"But it's fun right, while it lasts?"
"Yeah, but I guess I know I don't think I'm able to take the worst if it happens. So I guess I just, rather not take a chance somehow?"
I took a pineapple tart today, I went swimming after.
Because that just seems familiar, as distant to an extent it may be right now.
That look, is comforting, this one isn't.
That size, is comforting, this one, isn't.
Tell yourself, no Sarah.
To looking at it, at the same time looking through it.
But somehow, after getting out of the pool, feeling a slight gush of wind finally and knowing that the rain had stopped, I turned my head back and wanted to go back in, wanted to feel the rain on my skin as acid as it may have seemed at that moment. I wanted to be able to touch the familiarity and embrace it like I had before.
Ironic.
The first day of Chinese New Years over but there's YeeSang downstairs, yayy right? (:
I survived and Sloo, you were on my neck. I missmissmiss you alot wonderwoman.
Happy Chinese New Year everyone.
"I don't like letting people in because I'd rather not take the chance of getting hurt."

Prick me, and I'll explode. Go onn.

Dear Nicole babe,

If you read this do tell Renee, that Belle knows exactly how she feels, misses her and is praying for her.
All the time.
Belle Loves Renee to the moon and back too, always despite the four hour car ride away.
And currently, Belle's strugling too; can you feel it?

Love, Sarah.

.
I bite a small bit of a cookie, look at it and go;
Sarah : Mummy, this tastes like Digestives?
Mummy : It is, Digestives.
Sarah : Ohhhh.
:/ Complete idiot, I say.
.
I read a small poster and guess what two quotes out of the alot said. Oh, these are supposed to be quotes from Murphy- the guy who came up with Murphy's law that I detest.
Beauty is skin deep, ugly is to the bone.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
(...) It ends with-
Murphy was an Optimistic.
Boo, my foot he was.
.
I miss you and you;
more than Britney likes getting drunk.
.
Oh, and it's okay, I'm totally fine that you utter more words to your computer than you do to me.
Perfectly, fine with it.
I'm sorry for being a retard, I really am.

Skunk-el.

MayWen's sitting behind me and she asks me not to turn around because my pony tail is hitting her in the face. Hah (:
MayWen : Heyyy, your hair is like a squirel tail. OhMyGawsh, after gas will suddenly come out.
(pause)
Jasmine&Rachel : Uhh, isn't that supposed to be a skunk?
Maywen : Oh yeahhh.
-____-
That woman taps me on the shoulder for no apparent reason and every single time, I look behind.
At least I know squirels don't let go smelly gas (:
Hee, you funny.

Mhmm.

Maan, just after I published the last post, I came back home asked Daddy to look at the computer and with his superduper fingers, it started working again.
He went to Ireland but didn't come back with an Irish accent. Funny I nearly typed Scottish for some reason, I think that's the reason I don't take Geography in school you know? Know what happened in church this morning?
Daddy was making announcements and I hadn't seen him as he came back from the airport straight and I wasn't sitting beside him. I looked at him up stage, waved a small wave and he started laughing in front of the audience.
Daddy : (HEH) Umm, I'm sorry I saw my daughter waving at me because I just got back from the airport and now I think I'm distracted. Anywaayy (continues)
I'm just there covering my face with the hand I waved with. I can hear people laughing, OhMyGawshh (:- I'm a retard.
A million pictures have been uploaded and a couple hours have been wasted. Nevermind that clears one load off me (: Yayy.
SuperSunday.
The last Sunday the Loo's had was spent taking alot of pictures. I said last Sunday, not last day (: How fortunate, hmm?
There are evidently more photos with Sloo than Kloo but nonetheless, they're equally awesome!
The girl whose names have really similiar letters to mine.
SarahLee, SaraLoo.

Reliving the 'Anderson and Joanna' wedding pose.Not a bad camwhore shot from JoelLee (: And then, we start.
You can scroll down if you get sick of the same two people, really. We don't mind (:We even had our 'sunnies' phase.KevinLoo (:
And the masters of the 'lala' pose.
The 'lala' masters?- The ability to do it witout looking revoltingly, lala.And of course, PhyeBeng wanted to camwhore!
I think this one is funny, right?
You. Pay. Attention. The boys and their failed attempt to take shade from the sun (: H20-time.
Spent an afternoon with them and went H20-ing to wipe off one thing from our list of things to do (:
Meet, Kloo.And a little saner; my darling Sloo. Germaine didn't swim but we included her in anyway, right? (:We posed with her leg. How thoughful :pAttempted to do a pyramid but failed miserably.
As you can see there's no third picture because we fell in ):And yeah (: We turned into fishes for a few minutes, which was really cool.Our 'Sun' shape (:Check out muscle man.And our stupendous, jumps (:Steamboat Sensation.
Headed to the curve and Ikano (literally) to have steamboat which was located in the middle of both venues. This is Kevin and JoelLee in the car. He's attempting to sneeze but it didn't come out, unfortuantely (:
Oh, and on your way to Ikano; there are five bumps in a row. Really fascinating (:Steamboat;with my favourite pair of siblings ever.PhyeBeng needed his dose of camwhoring again, funny guy so I joined in, reluctantly :p After steaming ourselves with the steam from the boat, we picked Lauren up(getit?) and went to BigApple for doughnuts. And I had my very first one. I feel so accomplished, really (:I had Whitnut which was peanutbutte*fied.
How inconvenient having a metabolic burner standing next to you while you're eating your doughnut, booo.And we got a sugar high which complemnted the night, perfectly (:And these two took the camera right outta my hands and took a picture of themselves. How entertaining, right?

So we did too :p My favourite AussieUn-Lees :pSwitchfoot.
Despite knowing only half thier songs, it was good.
Despite being really short and having to peek at other peoples cameras half of the show time, it was good.
And despite having a fever the night before, it was good to me (:
Tsen : Are you taking pictures for your bloggg? Omg, I wanna be in your blog too!
So here we are, in the middle of a song we didn't know.
Or that Tsen and I didn't know; Ian did, heh.
Aussie-accented, boy (:Ya Tsen;infactuation :pI'm done and have to go.
I'm this close to death, literally- right youu? Geeez.
'Taa pretties.

Ola (:

Dear all,

I haven't died nor have I commited suicide.
My internet connection has just been a complete loser and that has therefore unabled me to connect in the comfort of home. How splendid (:
I'm now next to my Cherrycino and stealing wireless connection from the nice Cherrycino man, smart heh?
The most ironic thing is that I have this stack of pictures accumalated in my computer waiting to be posted up, lots of em containing Loo people uptil the point that I had to remove alot of files because it was taking up too much space from my desktop. Booo- and I have this thing about deleting things, you know?
Schools been okay, thank God (: I'm still alive so it can't have been that bad huh? Add Maths doesn't like me I'm starting to get the feeling. I went for tuition and had to ask MrAddMaths a few questions in a row. I'm starting to think he doesn't like me that much either now, hmm?
I looked at the sole of my I-Panemas and realised they are reaally starting to wear out. It's either I've been coming in too much contact with the road, or Gisele Bundchen didn't do a good job on my specific pair. I think it's the first one though, not complaining (:
Speaking of I-Panema's, Sloo and Kloo have departed back to Australia, leaving me here to moan and groan in despair and utter depression. Heh, no but I really miss them already and just wanted to say its been greaat having you guys back here and doing utter nonsensical things together. Lovelove, Loos (:
I think I've had a slight encounter with exhaustion this week, I had a fever at 12 am in the morning, in the middle of drawing a paramecium for Science and went to bed soon after. The next morning, I woke up and wasn't feverish. I have no idea what that has to do with anything but I know for a fact that somehow, somehow I'm not the type of person to fall sick that easily so I must have been, exhausted (: My eyebags are starting to show and I've fallen asleep in class a few times, so do pray that I survive for the rest of the year and manage to catch up on all my zzz's yup? That'll be much appreciated. OHHH and apparently, you grow in the period of 10pm-2am while you're asleep. And that's why my height's been stagnent. Gaah ):
Belle's had a couple of falls during the week, hasn't been easy in the seeing herself perspective.
Her arms have never seemed bigger, legs never looked chunkier and the mirror seems on the verge of cracking when she glimpses in it. She's cried a cup full of tears in a day and has added the colour purple to her body un/intentionally. But somehow she's pulled through. So Kudos to the big man up there, who she knows doesn't get enought credit alot of the time.
Point I'm trying to make here is that I am not happy with my internet connection at home, and I just had to tell you, yeah? (:
I'm off now and do be patient for pictures to come; as soon as my internet gets fixed.

1 Swimming with the Loos.
2 Donut Date.
3 Super Sunday.
4 Mamak at 11.
5 Switchfoot.

And I think that's about it.

I miss Sloo and Kloo, and Joanne soo much already.
Do take care everyone, have a great week and if you managed to read all the nonsensical rambling; then you really are a good listener (: Or maybe we both need to find a hobby, huh?
You know I love you.
'Taa pretties.
.
OHH, wanna hear my bimbo moment?
I walk into church take my place behind Cassie and see that she's wearing yellow.
Sarah : Omg Cassie I wanted to wear yellow today tooo (:
Cassie smiles at me and then her face kinda turns funny. I pause a second, look down at my own shirts and my face turns funny than funnier, funny.
Sarah : Omg, I AMM wearing yellow.
-____-
My explanation- I had another yellow top I wanted to wear but didn't and I forgot I wore my Little Miss Sunshine one; which coincidently was also yellow.
I am a retard, eek.
Toodle, LOO (: