Metaphorically, being straighforward.

And this solely explains my coloured crayon fetish.

You Are a Purple Crayon

Your world is colored in dreamy, divine, and classy colors. You hold yourself to a sky high standard, and you are always graceful. People envy, idolize, and copy you without realizing it. You are an icon for those who know you. And while it is hard to be a perfectionist, rest assured it's paying off! Your color wheel opposite is yellow. While yellow people may be wise, they lack the manners and class needed to impress you.

What Color Crayon Are You?

.
In Youth today, I was sitting next to Germaine- I love Germaine she's so; happy (:
She's known to laugh alot (...) alot and no surprise today was no different.
Brian asks Matthew Sarah Huang how his holidays have been.
Matthew Sarah Huang: Okay la I guess, gotta study cause my exams are coming up after the holi ..
Germaine pokes me.
Sarah *gigglegigglegiggles*
Matthew Sarah Huang: .. daaaayss.
The whole class : o__________O
Sarah: I'm infected, Germaine poked me *gigglegigglegiggles* You know like positive and negative electrons? (:
.
I have stuff to say.
Stuff that matters, stuff that youuu need to know about. Stuff I want you to know about, so you can tell me what I'm feeling has a solution, has an answer, adds up to everything. Is perfectly fine, because you knowing, telling me what to do and just sitting there, listening makes it feel a whole lot, better.
-Maybe your phone's stuffed up, Sarah. Or maybe they just don't want to reply you.
-It's some sort of connection that allows it to not be awkward I guess. You have no idea how comforting that sounds.
-Absence makes the heart grow fonder. But absence also means there's a chance of everything slipping away silently, unconsciously and then all of a sudden; it doesn't seem that important anymore.
-"I don't let people in, because I don't think I can take being hurt." I thought I held strongly to that, I think I sometimes need too. Nothings happened, yet. And while the yet is still there, making full use of it is the best thing to do- it leaves everything unfinalised.
-Different people, different emotions, different thoughts- all leads to a similar insecurity. How 'conveniently' baffling.
I just don't know how to say it right now. I might when the words actually start to form and stop to look like worms inside my brain. I detest, worms.
Ouch, traffic jam in Sarah's brain. This hurts ):

Silently, Estatic (:

I think Jason Mraz, is such a cool dude.
I officially proclaim I'm Yours as a song capable of releasing happy feelings.
While listening to him in the room with noone at close distance I'm smiling- a little disturbing to be honest with you.
And guesswhatguesswhat; he's wearing a fedora :D
How Gorgeous (:

Guess who, got (...)

an awesome possum (...)

FEDORAAAA :D

I was estatic, to be honest Daddy was to.
Endless- "Urghh, Daddy you know what they sell in TOPman, a fedoraaaa ):" whenever we walked pass or a catalog screened for TOPSHOP, have finally ceased.
Because I got, a fedora. *Squeaaaals* :D
I honestly just did that out loud and noones in the room.
I disturb myself, very much at times.
'Taa loves.

Shivani turns, Sixteen.

Wohkayyyy (: *Breathes out deeply*
Pictures from Shivani's Sweet Sixteen are finally up to those of you who have asked for them.
No kidding, it's 4:15 am now and I haven't even hit my pillow yet. I have this thing, where I don't like leaving things half finished and half hanging.
Therefore, my eyes are paying the consequences by swelling up.
Oh, and I have come to a conclusion that I am stunted for life. The only growing I'm going to be doing is sideways- vertically; I am stagnant. It's either that, or I really need to start having pillow talks between 10om- 2am in the morning; apparently thats the time you grow up.
Ain't going to elaborate much seeing as I'm a tad bit zombie-fied now. Still cauntious, just zoned and spaced out (Wooooooo) Here goes;
.
Shivani's Sweet Sixteenth.
Theme: Retro.
To be honest I don't exactly know what Retro is. I do know, that I had just got back from Singapore, my hair was a little greasy(Blehh) and I had two minutes to figure out what to put on, seeing I fell asleep in the car to Enchanted and had not thought about it.
Settled with a turqoise top because it kind of was the only thing that stood out admist the messy clutter I had chucked in before leaving while packing. The turqoise was probably the thing that stood out most in consideration of my plastic-contact-lensed eyes.
Carrie, Me, Carmen.
(Oh, Rachel Ho- NUDGE (: if you get what I mean *Inside thing*)

Carrie Choo is a natural born camera magnet.
Woman, I have a zillion pics of you most of them had to be collaged, saving space you know? (:
"Sarahhhh, take picture!"

The posse;

Halfway through, I needed to pee; yeah my bladder had it's usual issues so I followed Carrie upstairs and we had our little session in Shivani's room, attempting to curl her hair and I was fascinated with how pink her room is.
Candid of Carrie Curling her hair.

And doing what she does best (:


Went back down and just hung around.
I seriously have no idea how the big black feather boa got around my neck, I think it was supposed to be around Tsen initially.
Eek, I think feathers are a little too ticklish if you ask me. Like *goosebumps*

Ng Li Ling is mean to me (:
HEHHHH, when we going out woman?

Tsen;
owes me pictures on Facebook. If you read this (:

Doing the hippie pose- you know, retro?
Naomi Paige Hon-
It was great seeing you, really (:

Me. Ivan. LiLing.

The hee-uuge glasses.


Shivani being, Shivani (:

The 8-ball which fascinated me a fair bit.
"Ooh okay ask me a question Carrie :D" *shakes the ball repetitively*
"Is Sarah, a bimboooo?"
I continue shaking it- Without a doubt.
PPFFTT.

LiLing, your expression here is so priceless (:
And you're holding the 8-ball too! :D

Ta'Daaaa.

Me. Shivani. Naomi.

And guess who, yet again (:
Carrie is such a sweetheart, you owe me a pompom.

Carrie. KeeJun. Juli.

I have no idea, but this picture to me looks like a- POOOOF.
This one is a- WHOAAAAA, Tsen.

Me. Tsen. Carrie.

When most of em had gone back, I was with these two waiting to leave and guesswhatguesswhat happened.

We decided to play with the multishots in the camera.

And Carrie being Carrie, ended my night perfecto-ly.
With even more pictures (:

Carrie: You know what, if I take a picture with Ivan I won't look thaaaat short, cause he isn't thaaaat tall (:
Sarah: Heeey, me too then!
Ivan: OOOOI -_____-
Ivan. Carrie.

Me. Ivan.

The Retro, Birthday Girl.

And Liling- SNORRRRT.

.
That's bout it. I am going to sleep now.
If Daddy wakes up, I am going to have to do some serious running, and fast.
'Taa loves.
OHH, and on a really random note, my soap is vegetable soap. That's what is written on the label.
That means, it's either made out of vegetables; Broccoli, Carrots, Lettuce and whatnot.
Or, it's vegetarian. HAHA, that was so lame, senseless too.
On the radio today, I heard this statement coming from one of the deejays;
A ton of feathers, is lighter than a ton of bricks.
YOU KNOW WHAAAAT, that isn't true. They both weigh the same- A ton.
I am dissapointed with what they unconciously put into our grey matter nowadays ):
Okay, I need sleep EEEEK.

Sarah thinks- Coloured crayons are cooool.

1 Corinthians 13: 4
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love, never fails.
.
I'm in a hotel room somewhere in Singapore now, well not somewhere seeing the island is tiny. We've arrived safely and watched Stardust on the way- did you know that Ben Barnes acted in it, I squealed, Sandra laughed and Daddy just gave the 'ppft' look through the rearview mirror.
Personally, I think the whole tousled hair and Spanish accent suits him good like it did in Narnia.
.
People here are generally, tinier. I've noticed it before, but it seems more prominent this time around. Tinier, and longer- and that makes the mirror (which just so happened haave, to hold the image of me and another manequin-esque female; and holding me is hard enough) alot more detestful to look in.
Pictures are so beautiful because they let you wander into the moment despite not having been there. And when that happens, the mostprobablywouldhavefelt feeling gets to you too. Huge Eyes, Sultrous Smile, Waved Glossy Hair and Chiseled Body. Urgh, great- for you.
Shopping is disgustingly wondrous here, you get the widest range of things. The Cotoure- Colours, Cuts, Variety of Patterns; Plain or Abstract. Then, comes the sizes to choose from.
Hard as enough as it is; wanting to have the minimum, the number of mirrors strewn around seem like it’s overshot the maximum. And the long glossy glass, seem to elongate horizontally, they make the Mirror Room in funfairs look pathetic.
This isn’t going to be easy; My pool ain’t here, and I miss it already. The abundance of H20 which although is lovely, doesn’t seem to be doing it’s job in the whole detoxifying process, and that just doesn’t compensate for the absence of my pool.
My pink Nike sneakers are on top of the shelf, four hours away.
I miss my pink bed sheets, pink bath soap I left behind and pink Ikea plastic bowl.
I miss knowing that despite being totally clueless on what to wear, my cupboard is still just a few feet away when I wake up. I miss you.
I’m loosing red blood cells, white ones and platelets in the blood plasma too.
Hormones, I detesssst you ):
.
I’m aiming for the plain tank top, denim skirt and long abstract necklace look this time around. In that process I’m aiming to dunk away from the horizontal loving shiny glass; like playing hide and seek, Sarah.
The shoes here are pretty awesome. Flats, pumps and shiny pointy black ones just glare back at you without the ‘waytoocheap’ look screaming back at you- well most of them so far. Wish me luck though, I’m pretty excited, but spur of the moment things seem to have been hitting me quite abit lately.
The streets are practically filled to the brim with ang-mohs, some of them have blue eyed beauties too, innocent looking in either their prams waiting to blossom or in their cool Adidas sneakers, hanging on to their Daddy’s hand. Pretty steamy, YiLin- we could go on a stalking spree if you were here. Oh, and XinHui, apparently my sister saw a cat. HAHAHAH.
Might meet up with the cousins tomorrow, possibility of Nicole babe too. Kong-kongs 90th birthday is creeping up soon and it’s apparently time to start practicing- “‘You Raise Me Up’ altogether now.”
”But I do practice Mummy, I sing in the shower (:”
On the car ride here, I discovered my new found fetish; Coloured Crayons. They draw, scribble and write in a way that somehow capture my attention. And ecstatically speaking, they come in a multicoloured pack, which in turn send signals to my brain telling me they’re ohsopretty. Hence, the title seeing I couldn’t come up with anything else.
OhEmGee, is an abrieviation, not a word.
And Jack, your- “Your Dad must have been a terrorist, cause you’re the boooommmbb :D”
just popped into my head, how convenient.

’Taa Loves, Love.

Hoo-Tar.

The tittle was meant to be an abbrivieation for the word Hoodie and Tar, pretty hilarious how it ended up- HooTar.
Say it out loud, "HOOOO-TAAR!"
Yeah sorry, anywho (:
Guess who, has got a Hoodie now (:

MEEEE (:

It's Pink, and it says SuperGirl.

Sloo, it's be so awesome if you got one that says- Wonderwoman (:

I Love my Hoodie.

"BOOOO."
It's just a Hoodie Sarah. Just a Hoodie (:
Thank you, You.
.
"Hey Mummy look- a roaaaad (:"
While waiting for the Sisters Best Friend's bicycle to be loaded into the car, I occupied myself with a long stretch of tar. Nearly got hit down (if you look closely, you can see a car driving away in the distance; picture 1 and 2) but it was fun. I somehow, although I do not remember- managed to spin around. Excuse the constipated faces, today didn't go that well.

Excuse the narcisstic post too, apologies.
It's off to Singapore tomorrow. And as usual, the mixed feelings are begining to rest in my stomach like they always do before the four hour drive down.
Public toilets, here I come.
'Taa Loves.
-And in case you were oblivious, words from you, hurt abit more compared to when they come from others, in case you didn't know.
I feel, bland ):
.
Come back soon, JoelLee.

Feminist.

-A phone call with the brother.
God allows everything to happen in His time. Whatever's meant to happen, will happen and there need be no questioning. Yeah, Sarah it maybe hard to grasp certain incidences but He's planned everything out perfectly in His own way and I guess, whatever happens, happens.
I'm so proud of You, so proud of how you've matured, grown and just still maintained being You.
Australia does wonders to someone, huh? It's the air (: And just yesterday, I remember you playing with your electrical toy car and running over my foot. I reallyreallyreally miss you.
To some extent having an older brother is like having an oxygen mask thrown across your face, it's 'obstructive' at times (:, but it's quite impossible to live without.
-Nobody hears, but the trees, David Cook plays. *Smiles*, let off repeatedly.
-Texts from the bestie (: Texts are always nicer when you have to scroll down longer to read them, don't you think?
-A MSN conversation box pops out from the most unexpected of people.
"BooYah."
"Boo-Boo-Yah-Yah."
"Noo, I think we'll just stop at BooYah."
"Oops, okay sorry."
.
Momentarily, exhilarating.
People let you down. Trust is obtainable, but very easy to lose.
I'm confused.
I'm going swimming, and I hope I don't cross any cats on the way, black ones especially- metaphorically speaking.
'Taa.

LaDiDaa (:

I saw three little angmoh girls, running around screaming, "Save me!" like they were going to get eaten up by a live boogeyman, in their bikinis. Blue, pink and green; like the powerpuff girls (: Pretty much the highest extent of hyper in the surroundings of the entire pool.
Quite a contrast to their Mummy's, also in bikinis brown, black and white. Difference was they weren't doing anything, except probably working on their tan, and drinking coconut juice. But I could have been mistaken, with the huge large husk sitting beside them and a straw sticking out.
There's a point in time when dresses and skirts are the only things you want to wear, because they make you look, pretty. Jeans and pants are for boys and they push you out of the circle you would rather be in. The circle where Barbie, Teacups and PollyPockets are the most important thing and the must go to section, in Toys'r'Us. The car section is lame, bland and so plastic only.
Then, jeans and shirts are the things that you wear so you look like you're growing up. Dresses and skirts don't seem appealing at all then, because they make you look, like a teacup. All round and way too feminine. Lace, pink and shiny black shoes with ribbons are a taboo because, you look like you've just fell out of a doll house. And falling out of a doll house when you're at that certain age, is similar as labelling your forehead with a big 'Weirdo'.
There's a time when you compare the fairness of your skin with people around you, and get a slight feel of glee when you're slightly, fairer than the others. The princesses in the storybooks are fair, so that's a little acceptance sign, right? Snow White, ain't called that for nothing. Her life turns out bliss, despite eating a poisonous apple and having lived with seven tiny men nearly her whole life. She still ends up with birds to magically communicate with and help her make apple pie, a glass coffin with pretty flowers on top and she gets to marry her prince eventually. So yeah, SnowWhite, is living proof to having fair skin.
Then, lying in the sun, bronzing becomes important. They set up tanning saloons, spray tanning lotion on you and even invent the tiny fake goggles to wear over your eyes so they don't make you have panda eyes (Hypocriticalysayingthat). I want to be tan now, not burnt but- tan, you know? (:
I used to hate doing Math, and while Daddy would be in the room, I would somehow manage to bribe him to give me an answer for a question. It wasn't a bribe that came out distinctly. More of a long stretched, "Daaaaaaddy?" finished with a smile right in from of his face.
It still applies to some extent today.
"So Sarah, has Mummy gave you the money yet?"
"Umm, nope nope, she hasn't Daddy (:"
Notes are handed out, a smile; smirkish smile is displayed and then a few more notes come out.
Giggles, silent thank you, and "Shhh" *Points to Mummy at the back* All in the budget, don't worry I know.
I used to love coloured crayons, because when you coloured inside the lines in kindergarten, they earned you stickers and a tap on your back from the teacher you loved. You got to hand out the milk and cookies, and also lead the line right in front when coloured crayons were used properly. I used to love the whole atmosphere of fun fairs. Love the helium balloons that came with it and how everything was just so colourful. Uncolour coordinated, I mean the clowns used to match yellow, green. blue and red all together but somehow something about it made it still beautiful. Noisy and peaceful at the same time. Maybe it was the helium balloons, maybe it was the balloon puppets, or it could have been the scene of the cotton candy, swirly humongous sugar loaded lollipops or the huge balloon castles.
I still love coloured crayons now. I love helium balloons, toy balloons and balloon castles. The sight (SIGHT) of candy floss and lollipops. I love bubbles and blow them like a little kid does because when they reflect in the sunlight you get to see their rainbow colours. Gawsh I love bubbles (: I love the fact that rainy days and snow give you reasons to hide under you blanket, even if you aren't going to sleep yet and woolly jumpers and scarves aren't weird to wear.
I love the blithe, innocence, indescribable naivety, stunning beauty, of childhood.
Because you're too young to have to worry, too oblivious to take in consideration 'important' things that actually do not matter, undeveloped to be self conscious, carefree to worry about petty things; and you're just programmed to live in the moment without having to worry about anything else.
Little kids are so inspiring in such an indescribable way. Because they don't care, and that makes you see how you, just shouldn't care about some things too. I don't know if this relates to whoever reads this, but I guess when I said, you I really meant that somehow applies to me.

You can tell me you don't like coloured crayons, that helium balloons and bubbles are just a waste of time. Crayons wear out and they don't colour all that well. Helium balloons and bubbles eventually deflate and burst anyway. Cotton candy and lollipops are just a waste of sugar (Yes, Sarah couldn't agree more here about that one) but then again, I was talking about the sight of them. The fluff and huge swirl of colour they bring.
I won't say anything, I believe a persons opinion has no right to be gone against and I definitely won't say you're wrong. But it will be hard for me to believe, a little disappointing because that all, just symbolizes childhood- innocence, genuinity and blithe. Not caring about things that shouldn't really matter as much as they are perceived to be.
Bubbles, anyone? (:

Double-Sided caloriefreepizza.

The breaking point will eventually come. The point when the distinct and final turn gets made on the one way road and turning back will then be that much harder.
The pros come along with the cons and they don't get rid of each other, ever. It's not possible because -that's not a real world at all, I guess.
I don't like you, I don't like how I always compare to you and how intimidated I feel by you. And I can't believe, you would have the nerve, to say that. Say something so hurtful because it's way too beautiful still to me. It's beautiful because it's familiar enough and earned already, bought and paid for. Still being worked hard for, sores, tears and all.
And I'm begging you, not to take that away. Cause despite everything I doubt Sarah is ready, ready to share, ready to let go completely.
Pros and cons, pros and cons. Pros, have to come with cons.
It's selfish, I'm selfish. 'Sharing' makes me woozy, unsteady and insecure, you know? And my deepest apologies, I'd take it back if I could, but it's like trying to pluck a star from the sky and put it in my pocket.
Sarah, doesn't like selfish people. But then again, it's detestably ironic too, so much so that it becomes confusing, hypocritical even.
She's sorry, Sarah really is but she's mad too, annoyed and questioning what jealousy this categorizes itself into, where it comes from.
The rains stopped, and I'm going to go.
.
And so I don't sound like an emotional ball, I'll end with something totally out of contacts.
I dropped my CONTACT lens, down the sink yesterday.
Yeah, not thaaaat big of an idiot.
I got a brochure of Caspian today, He's delectable. He's either going to be Olympian or a Canonite, either way I want Him black, sexy and classy.
In my head I've conjured up a pretty little scenario of doing a photoshoot on someone, know like how you spend a day with people in a carnival or something and random shots get taken? Carnival being an example seeing that I don't really trust the whole, swinging yourself in mid air in Malaysia. I'm looking for guinea pigs, I have two weeks of holidays and the thought of being cooped up at home is enough to turn me claustrophobic. Oh, I already am.
.
While eating the apparently most important meal of the day, Australia came up.
Daddy, Mummy and their straight faces.
Wow. And now I'm thinking, contemplating and pinching myself.
I'm sixteen, Australia's beautiful, rightnowsoareyou, but I love my pool. You know?
.
"Mummy, that's why I don't like getting too attached to people. "
Jeremiah 17 : 7
Blessed are those who trust in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.
Stick it inside Sarah, stick it with permanent glue.
'Taa loves.

And would you look what I found.
I told you, December was fun (:

And check out the awesome H20 in the background.
My Biology teacher asked me this today; "Do you have bladder problems? Because you drink water and go to the toilet so often."
She's the second one so far. My Maths teacher says I should bring a letter explaining my 'bladder problem'. If you analyse that sentence, it means she thinks it's confirmed, that my bladder is problematic.
Oh BooHoo, I'm just happy emptying myself alot that's all. It's a way of detoxification, Biology, you know? We should all do the Math (:

.
And thissss toooo;
It's the inner child coming up, the freakishly uncaany side of Sarah.
(...)
Oh Boo, REEEE-TAAAARD.

'Taa sweets'.
If you think about it closely, I'm referring to each person who reads this as a sweet, you know candy? (: Oh what a brainwave.
Ahh, Shutup Sarah.

MoJo.

Beauty attracts attention.
Personality, captures the heart.
It's been repeated over and over. Since young, when I played with Mummys pink hair rollers in her small bathroom and penciled eyeliner over my eye, only to look completely beaten up and running to the downstairs toilet to hide after.
Since I got my first pair of contacts, since I hated the dufus looking haircut I got when I was eleven at the hairdresser I swore never to go back too, since I wore my fugly pinafore back in Form One andlookedobese, wait still do.
It's supposed to make you feel slightly better, that sentence.
Supposed to boost your self esteem a little and I guess there is truth in it. Cause between a frangipani and a rose, if you use it as a comparison a rose still has thorns that cut deep into your skin -you see?
I never said it wasn't true, nor did I say it was easy to accept either. It's scary, dejavu all over again. Accidentally stumbling on links and then remembering how searching, comparing and just, reading because such a habit, ritual, motivation. It's strange how you look exactly, like her somehow. Scary how it's somehow intimidating, your seemingly perfect perfection that always existed.
Lips, Smile, Eyes and all- flawless.
And in the midst of it all, you've come along. Scary, thrilling, bewildering, nerve-wrecking, beautiful; confusing.
Beauty attracts attention.
Personality, captures the heart;
I never said it wasn't true. But I never said it was easy, either.

I blew a balloon and left it to float around the house. Not a helium balloon because I guess, that proves I am, a normal human being. I am not mutated when it comes to the type of air I breath. It'd be funny if the balloon had started to float up.
Anywho, it then hit me when I saw it lying on the floor, that balloons get smaller eventually, because their air diffuse out from the meniscule holes in the balloon wall.
And I realised that Science doesn't lie. You know, the whole- Air can diffuse because they're made up of tinytinytiny particles? Yeah, just a thought that somehow made me happy (:
.
Trial and error.
Tried and tested.
Results; Failed.
Black, does not make you look slimmer.
It does not cut ten pounds of the camera. BLEHHHH, stupid media and the fake hints they give.
Maybe I should experiment with all the different colours. And guess what, there are seven days in a week (:
.
This is bad, I post up a picture everytime I miss you. And we're running out of 'em hunneh. The ones I have left are fugly. Come back so I can take pictures with you, okay? I L Y.

Oh, and I might be DSLR hunting soon (:
I'm naming him Caspian, that's on my mind for now that is.
.
Curtesy of HuiYing;
(Flaps arms)
If this is a chicken, what is this?
(Flaps and raises arms gradually)
... Chicken 'Riseeee'.
HAHA, you get it?
ToodleSaraLooImissyou.
Gawsh, December was fun (:

TheLittleBits.

Jack : So, Sarah since I haven't passed you your birthday present, I'll pass it to you now! Know the SaraLee brand of cakes and stuff, I found it witha 'H' :D
And 'OhEmGeeee, Jack.'
.

Frangipani moments with Sandra Lee.
We were in the car, driving home from Youth and I spotted a pink Frangipani tree.
I made Daddy stop the car, reverse so I could pluck it, how mature (:

I hope I didn't, miss a thing.

A million things have been running around my mind like gazelles in the cool grass fields lately.
Okay, maybe more like elephants seeing gazelles are, tiny.
It's been a mix of both, good and bad and sometimes they both lead up to each other viceversa so to be honest it's been pretty tough. Not to touch on anyones rough point; I'm sorry if I do, but it's kind of like -having someone you really love being taken away from you, and then finding out you'll be able to meet them, because you're going to pass away, somehow, soon. In that way it's a combination of sad, happy and bewildering. You get what I mean?
There've been a few mixups, a few moments; Where I move to the side, just a little bit so some reflection gets cut off, most of it to be exact.
Moments where opaque becomes so beautiful because it just covers everything up.
Moments when you just wish it'll linger on and not have to pass, so that the reality of it all is that- you're living in a real world and this is just bits of the seemingly like fairytale God throws in because somehow, He understands.
Frustrating moments when you seem to lure me in, yet I know how my views are, I know how it could turn out if I don't take precaution. Because humans are all attracted to beauty, humans are all look cautious and the before effects have shown that I can't handle all your -beauty.
Moments when it's unbelievable, 'PPFT' ): and then stands on the verge of being uber annoying. Twins in Hoodies, over their heads. My contacts have been itchy, have yours? And my hair flew into my eye. That's fine, I just turned sixteen and I still love helium balloons- no big weird situation there!
"I can see it in their eyes, you might not, but they love you, Sarah." and that's enough to stop me in my tracks because it hits me how much I take them for granted sometimes, seeing how He makes breakfast like He always does, just like when I was five, seeing Her take out the toy basket that we used to play with, when we were all before- five. "They love you and would be willing to sacrifice just for you." and yes, they have already done so much, 2006.
Random moments where I wonder, who the person being displayed, really is? ChickenRiseeee, Frangipani, OhEmGee, and attempting to even play rugby. Would Sarah do that, really?
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming;
wondering if it's me you're seeing. (:
I'm scared and then you make it seem a little more worthwhile.
Moments where I've stepped out, in the tiniest ways, yet felt so insecure in doing so, pre-nerves and after effects being taken into consideration.
And that's the gist of it, I'm pretty sure there have been more, all combined into the cookie bowl waiting to be turned into the final product. I guess it's still in the midst of being mixed in. Still in the midst of having to remove the lumps, remove the batter that isn't acceptable to be turned into cookies yet.
The end results takes time, but I guess I'm hoping He, doesn't mix me up too much. What am I saying, yeah I can hope, but I guess knowing that the Baker knows what he's doing should be sufficient enough to provide security. Security and trust that things won't turn out burnt or uncooked.
It's hard, because I'm just a batter in the mixing bowl now, but I guess calorie-free chocolate chips surrounding me, ones that compliment and boost the taste, make it just a little bit more easier each day.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.
'Taa loves.

-I think I can, keep my eyes of you.

Out of the ordinarily, I stayed back in school for CF.
Germaine : You're going to faaaail for co-coriculum marks Sarah.
This being a very last minute thing (NUDGE Jack) I had a tiny tiny role as Orpah for a skit.
Basically all I did was say, Tadaaaa, Eew, and do the English kissing thing with HuiYing. NO contact whatsoever mind you. The fake pecks on the cheek.
Jack : So Sarah, you'll be Oprah? Don't worry it's just a tiny role okay? (Does the thumbs up sign :D)
Sarah : Fine fine okay.
(looks at the Bible)
Uhh, Jack it's Orpah, not Oprah.
-_____________________-
.
I'm on a mission; to buy a box of nice tan paint and coat myself in it.
Acrylic because then it won't wear off.
I'm loosing my tan *shrieks* and I'm not happy ):
Out of desperation, I swam at twelve noon (:
But I think my skin tone has still remained -albinofied.
Oh noooo. And I doubt I'll go into a tanning machine because of Final Destination- where they freakishly get burnt till death? Yeah.
Toodleloo loves.

Fiction, Fact and Intimidation.

I don't dubb guys steamy very easily.
But I think I like prince Caspian, wait I know I do.
Steamy, Steamy, Steamy.

I know I'm slow, I know I'm left behind and outdated.
And it's down to the Final two and I'm into a song he sang a fewfewfew weeks back.
How cool Sarah, how cool.
He sang this one pretty superbly though I think, I want to cry everytime I hear it for some reason.
Credits to YiLin who was in love with this song, downloaded it and sent it to me. This post is half for you (:
He's yours and I get the fedora, yes?
.
And we'll linger on,
Time just can't erase a feeling this strong.
And I think I might, be falling for you.
'Taa.

Two more days of exams and it's over.
Okay, I honestly felt very slack this time round. I'm in the midst of drawing a girl on my wall, I watched Prince Caspian the night before I had my BM exam and yes, the times I should have been studying was spent giving my seconds of life away to, the air.
Anywho, I've survived- in the terms that I have not died of stress or heart attacks due to stupidity, but that will probably be a different story when I get my results back.
I think my neighbours think I'm crazy.
My Mummy says that I might get bitten by a snake- and I just think it's the things I do to get a picture of a flower.
I thought it was a dandelion, Mummy thought it was too. I got pretty estatic, thinking that ''Heyyy, dandelions exist quite near me (:'' Then, I found out it was just grass, PPFT.I baked cupcakes for Mummy, started at ten and finished at two in the morning.
I have to start working on the 'keeping it a secret' thing. She came down numerous times and was nice enough to pretend she didn't know though, wow, I could suspect it.
On Mothers day itself, the Youth had a teensy breakfast, presentation and here it comes - PINK helium balloons for the Mummys.
How awesome.
Meet my friend; Germaine Tay.
Germaine : Ooh, Sarah take a picture!
HAHAHAHA.
Germaine : Oh noo, I'm stuck :/
HAHAHAHAHAH.

I love you, miss three in the morning.
And then it was my turn (:

Benny : Look, I'm camouflagedddd (:

Mother's day;
was a day when I realised (okay I have before too, but yeah)
that being a Mummy comes without any training, when the logical thing would be to have a boot camp before.
Because I think that to endure all the labour pain, wailing and complaints, and being able to really just -love through it all, is the most humble and loving thing someone could ever do.
And yes, that may sound cliche a little, but if you stop and think about it, it's just bewildering. Beautifuly bewildering.
Thanks Mummy, see now I pull up my window blinds and remember (most times) to take my clothes down. I know that whenever you go out, it's much safer to wipe the straw of the drink you consume too.
I Love You (: My camera was being as Sloo would say; Gayyyy and died on me before I could get any decent pictures. How convenient.
Blogger's being a loser now too so I'm off.
Last day of exams are tomorrow how awesome.
'Taa loves.

JoelLee;
in front of your grey desk, above your socks under your chair and next to your mattress bed-
With the whole of Melbourne overlooking you and your cosy apartment, and when you probably had just gotten off the phone with me, (seeing that it was seventh of May and if I'm not mistaken I talked to you that night);
Romeo and Cookie?
Oh wait, and a -rainbow?
Not to sound narcissistic, not to be a complete ignoramus loser who thinks of nothing but herself, not to give an impression that I deserve it but;
I am awaiting a picture of me done on paint (:
It's your punishment for being able to spend Autumn in Melbourne while I'm back here evaporating my toxic sweat under the Malaysia sun.
I miss you.
And you never reply my texts :/
I just had a sudden inspiration to paint my entire wall. Remember the butterfly? The parents might not be too happy.
I have to get down to baking cupcakes for people I owe.
'Toodleloo.

I want, a hoodie.

Hoodies are like free hugs;
they make you feel all warm and fuzzy.
And I know, I want to hug you (:

Sixteen.

Sixteen, wow.
I remember I used to have these pink overalls, and a brooch with my name on it.
I remember I used to have a white pony, named Snowy and I once barfed on her, I think I drank Vitagen too fast and got choked or something. I remember Daddy taught me how to tie a shoelace and used my red ribboned dress as an example, taught me how to draw a seahorse, and took a goofy picture with me when I was a mere one years old. Okay, maybe not but I do have the picture, my face is squashed, literally on his cheek.
I remember Mummy got me these plastic high heels when I was five and I wore it with my pink flowered shirt. I remember the haircuts she used to give me which resulted in short fringe and me crying, saying that, "I look ugly now Mummy." when I was six. I remember her teaching me how to bake scones, teaching me how to shade a sunflower so it won't look, 'fake', and tell me the amount of water to put in the rice cook so that I won't make it too soggy and risk it burning the pot, due to lack of water.
I remember JoelLee throwing a plasticine at the top of the ceiling and it not coming down when I was four, and placing a fake cockroach outside the parents' room door to find daddy whacking the ground with a rolled up newspaper when he got back from prayer meeting. I remember crying when you left for Aussie and crying now, when I don't hear from you after my 20 cents text doesn't get replied after a while on a suck day.
I remember Sandra and her shiny straight hair I used to love when I was eleven. I remember the times we used to play princesses and imitate the Parent Trap with our glow torches, stepping on the leather cushions when I was nine, and she was five. I see how she's wearing clothes I am secretly goingtostealfromhercupboard one day, and remember how she used to wear a bib saying 'I am a little monster' while eating her baby food.
Sloo, I remember the swimming pool when we were eight, and the pool now.
Rachel and Germaine, I remember the first time we were in Sunday School, and how now we're trying to escape from YF committee meetings on Sunday.
Anderson, I remember being really intimidated by you, "PushUps! SitUps! Squats!" and now I get the most random messages from you, telling me about how birds attack you and nurses scold you because you fainted.
I remember how you used to be, the other twin in the car that tagged JoelLee along when you went to Youth, and how you're my bestie now :p
I remember being slightly overwhelmed by you guys and now how we coordinate LittleMissTees and camwhore.
I remember how I first saw you in clinic with your swirly colourful bag and just looked. And how now, we share butterfree pretzels and walk aimlessly around having fun doing, nothing.
How I used to want to wear high heels, but am now comfortable wearing flats because I know heels aren't directly, me. Don't get me wrong, I do feel I need to at times, feel intimidated over the top but I guess now I know having fun doesn't require having to be like, that.
I remember hating plastic tubes, white walls and the smell of medicine, the hospital in general when I visited Mummy when she had Sandra at four. I remember 2006.
And the list goes on and on, I'd be here forever if I were to finish it.
The point is now, I'm sixteen. Now Daddy doesn't expect me to text him often enough to know what I'm doing when I go out. Now I'm unofficially legal to drive a manual car. Now, I wear skirts not because they're mini, but because they're so much easier to put on the jeans. Now, I carry a bright pink bag not because Paris does it and gets attention, but because somehow it boosts my serotonin level.
.
Belle has it 'all'. Family, friends, enough text messages on her birthday. She isn't an XS despite wanting to be. She isn't a size O, nor does she have the high enough cheekbones, sharp face and seemingly seeming double eyelids. She isn't happy with the scale number, despite not knowing it. Her list goes on. But all things considered she as her Mummy says, 'has it pretty good'. She can still see, smell, touch and feel objects, as much as she doesn't want to feel some because too close for comfort is not a good thing. Having too wide a surface area, minimizes the space for other, smaller things. But she knows I guess, she's okay.
She has her ups, she has her downs. The ups are bliss, and if she could, she'd freeze the time, make everything stand still so that the chances of having the bad creep up are gone, vanished and just not there.
The downs hurt. Hurt because they cut bone deep and yet feel all-right at the same time. Feel all, right. It hurts to compare, hurts to look through the non opaque glass, hurts to ask and hurts to want, hurts to be flawed. Yet when it hits her, it feels like there isn't anything else more important than that strive for the best; perfection. Because that's what is needed to erase, get rid off and evaporation the bad completely. So it won't ever creep up again, perfection.
To put it bluntly, it's not achievable because as beautiful as an angel seems, it's wings still miss a feather and as flawless as Gisele seems, she's (as Eugene puts it)- has photo shop to back her up on a one hair strand out of place day. She knows that.
Tantrums are thrown, words are spat out. Some meant and some unidentified. But at that very point, it's like the earth has just lost all it's gravity, like a dog goes loose when it's leash breaks -uncontrollable. And then, she breaks. She breaks because she's tired, torn out, worn out and yet gravity isn't on her side, but wait -she doesn't want it to be. It can't be because that means her weight increases, it means that the scale does too. Yet without it, she knows she'll float away and the atmosphere goes, very far off now, doesn't it?
Is it wrong for a dog to run when it's leash comes out? Do you stop it and forbid it to, disown it when it doesn't sit at your feet when the leash snaps? Is it wrong for astronauts to float, to not keep their feet on the ground because gravity just isn't there? Are they expected to remain, defy gravity? And if Belle had a choice, is she wrong to want to not look this way, feel like this and be this size, with a Gisele shrunk to the size of an A4 page next to her?
It's tiring, she loves exhaustion yet it is, exhaustion isn't it? It tires her out yet she's bought it with a high price and it won't get rid of her so easily. It won't get lost and wear out just like that. It reappears, again and again and again.
A message comes in and she remembers it's supposed to be her special day, a day when she's made a decision to let everything go smoothly, nothing get messy, everything to be perfect. But it doesn't happen like that-
The clock shows twelve fifteen am and it's just Physics, it's just a Happy Birthday, after nearly a week of being transmitted to through sound waves, you don't show and she greets herself through tears. Yeah, 'Happy' Birthday.
But theres an inbox, and there are a few messages, some that comes before, some later. Sixteen stalks even if they weren't actually touched by you and it ends with a candle in her letterbox. A chocolate one but it's glowing and a ladybugs next to it (:
It was a messup. A micro messup but a messup nonetheless and it affected her in a huge way.
Texts, a helium balloon, cupcake and tears. Beautiful yet so flawed at the same time.
Belle works like oxidation. She can remove some of the grunge but it might reappear again, and she doesn't know when. She likes it when it's shiny and dreads having to remove the mess after because it's tiring and she's afraid one day all her chemicals that help polish it will disappear. She's afraid they will rebel, say "I can't take it anymore" and give up on her. Then she'll just oxidize and get covered up till she's left as rust, and noone, at all likes rust. It's natural not too.
It's 11:28 pm on the 5th of May. And Belle smiles at the last two minutes. She frowns and the her mouth goes, straight because she doesn't know which one is more appealing then. And it's over, cause it's then twelve the next day.
.
It adds up to my sixteenth in total. It adds up because it's one day more, one day closer to my well, seventeenth.
It wasn't beautiful and yet it wasn't horrendous. Somehow, it wasn't in the middle either.
But yeah, sixteen (:
Thank you for the texts, posts and wishes.
It's been a memorable one, lovely and flawed at the same time -Yes, I've been confusing for sixteen years I should think. I L Y all.
And on the happy side, I think I'm going to get an SLR.
'Taa loves.

Sixteen, soon.

In a jiffy, jiffy;
I went for a jog, seeing as on Sunday, the pool is usually brimming with children and old men in *ahem* tights.
Yeah, I find that a little disturbing. Also, I tend to kick more people that way.
And I saw, this- I can be a professional stalker, huh YiLin?
Being on a different side of the road, I had to zigzag back and forth to get a picture of them from behind.
There was a point when the little girl looked back and I just stared at the grass panting and tried to look busy. I think it worked. Cause I manage to pass them without having rocks hit me and hearing insults hurled such as, "Stalkerrrr!"
It's moments like this you just can't buy; priceless.
.
The moment I got back, I leaked.
No kidding, the moment I stood up and paused a second, I could feel sweat drops, drop to the ground. And where my hands were, below was a small puddle of water. How cool, I feel so toxified though. Look! That's my sweat :DSarah : XinHui, I'm a spongeeee (:
XinHui : Hey, since your a sponge, then suck up all the H20.
Suck me up!
Sarah : You're sucked up already, there.
XinHui : I'm germs, I can contaminate you. Heheh.
Sarah : Noooo, you're mineral salts and you're going to get eliminated from my body. through my *ahem* bottom.
.
Take note;
I drove a manual car during the week thanks to Ian and SoonSeng (attempted too)
SarahLee, who's fifteen drove a manual car during the week.
Umm, yeah I stalled like ten times and screamed consecutively though.
Yay- (: Quotes, "Some people are never happy." .
A Very Happy Belated Birthday to Eugene Phua.
The dictionary, the one who never fails to make YF class interesting, the magazine journalist, and overall the loyal commenter on my blog. Thanks for that really.
I hope you had a good one. Take care and I'll see you soon, yeah end of 2009 (:
And, I'm sorry if this picture wasn't meant to be.
But, I found it on your Facebook, so I suppose it's alright? If it isn't let me know okay?
ToodleLoo, oh but then you're a Phua.
Have a great one anyway (:
.
And just for kicks;
.
Aqua my dolphin, exploded.
I think the level of H20 was way too high for her, she literally burst.
That's bout it I think. Exams are on Tuesday.
And in a few hours, I'm going to turn 16 (:
'Taa loves.

-'Drop'

It was a 'restricted' website, one which probably wouldn't do much good anyway; but I typed the link in anyway.
Obscene, uncalled for, lying, photoshopped, perfect, 'unreal' pictures, but I saw them anyway.
It said no free reading; but I flipped it anyway.
And I guess that was the breaking point. Cause in less than a second, less than a millisecond, the nerve receptors started working and everything you said, everything you used to do, wear, talk like and generally influence so many people to accomplish being hit me like a rock. Everything they all accomplished, but I failed miserably to do. Because it wasn't enough, it didn't cut the passing mark and it just didn't satisfy me yet.
Fun, huh? I guess my brain capacity can't handle things like that. My body can't fit in the mould that's required to have that much, 'fun'. Not small enough to wear those shorts, not toned enough to bare those arms.
Yeah, you reaaaally need to 'lose weight'.
Yeah, you're reaaaally 'fat' and 'huge la, puhleasee'.
Fine fine, if you say so -I guess they just require those requirements then, huh?
It's unfair how I'm still bigger despite everything. It's unfair how everything 'gained', just managed to get 'lost' like that. And I mean in a totally opposite way of course.
It's funny how all my effort, didn't and probably will never outshine yours. Oh wait, you don't even need to put any energy in, yours get thrown away just like that.
Renovation, Steps, Cinnamon, Gisele, Conscience.
It stinks that you aren't around right when I need you the most, and for a whole week you won't be either. That's fine, because I guess the bittersweet just balances out. And bitter hopes to take over sweet right now, just to let you know.
It sucks that I won't be able to know what you're thinking, analysing and assuming when you read this. Remember how it's a 'moment' thing? How it sometimes comes and goes? Yeah, how come you can't be here at this moment to tell me what to do? Tell me what to think?
"Because what they've told you just won't do right now. Doesn't get you what you, want."
It's funny how the word diet, thin and lose have four letters. It's funny how it's one syllable just like the F word.
It's funny how even Facebook comes up with pop-ups like 'How to Burn Tummy Fat in 10 Minutes'. And despite that, I know that clicking on it won't give me the results, extreme results which keep coming up, like the pop-ups. Especially today.
It's funny how I haven't heard from you, you haven't replied me, I had to see you and compare unconsciously in just a flip, you just melt me and bring up the contemplation, and you're all not around today.
I don't expect you to be, because I know how growing up, moving on and letting go requires steps to be taken with my own initiative. But it just didn't seem that worthit today. Didn't seem like all the efforts made were enough to boost me further, because it just seems to linger on, never let go and hold me back keeping me stagnant. I know I definitely can't imagine it going up right now, progressing, increasing -the scale I mean. And for a while, it's like it has to do so much with progressing. The numbers determine the rate of movement of the temperature. Once it reaches a certain maximum point then it stabilises, and everything will be manageable.
I hate the word maximum though, hate everything that has to do with exceeding the average limit, "I like -too little".
A Caucasian girl walked past me that day. Younger, taller, smaller. And my photographic memory worked and stored it there till today. Because the image space isn't full yet. And it can never be, I know.
You can't have the best of everything, I know.
I know.
I won't swear. Because it's just lost it's meaning it's pointless. And please don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you. Really, I am.