Baad, feet.

It's a mix of claustrophobic-ity and non-claustrophobic-ity here. Because as of now, we're very much cooped up in the brothers apartment, five Lee's walking around in a smaller space than usual. And yesterday, I swam in the brothers apartment pool which due to the overseas weather, was indoor so people can also use it in the winter. Nevertheless, it was glass paneled which meant the sunlight and clouds still stream through and can be seen, so it wasn't thaat bad I guess; or maybe it was just the H20. Hmm (:

There's alot of open spaces- the city and the park around here too, so that makes up for the  being cooped up I suppose. Architecture here is definitely superb- colourful buildings with the blue skyed background and pigeons flying around once in a while, the carefree dressing in a sense guys could wear dresses and not get too many weird glares is somewhat nice because it lessens the feeling of being judged by people and sinfully saying, the gelato here (which I googled contains milk, sugar, and eggs o_o) is really good- so much I told Daddy I'd be on the verge of turning obese overnight if I come here. Dang :/

Federation Square with the cousins yesterday was pretty interesting as we spotted a 43 year old man entertaining a bunch of people in a skin tight spandex suit with an afro wig. More of disturbing, actually. He was later replaced by a younger bloke wearing an Aussie outfit, who stopped Stephanie, my cousin halfway while she was walking pass. She ignored him though, leaving him standing there talking to himself (: There was a design market nearby which we visited and I fell in love in, swirls, twirls, earings and notebooks caught my eye but I refrained from spending a dime. I even saw a badge, which said- 'Middle Child Syndrome' which I was so close to purchasing. I might have a stronger hold on this self-control thing than I thought (:

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I got restless in the car, so we played Country game where you pick a genre and go in a circle, the next person continuing with a word from the last letter of the previous word typa thing. The genre was fruits, and JoelLee decided to start.

"Okayokay I'll start."

We pause for a while, while he thinks. And then-

"Doughnut!"

H-Ohhmygawshh :/

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I had the sudden urge to get a cocker spaniel as a pet after I saw a middle aged lady walk one down the road. But then again, I'm pretty sure I might loose interest pretty fast, hence the contemplation.

A little more disturbing, as I was looking out the window, a bunch of drunk (I suspect) blokes, were walking down the street, and one of 'em had his pants down exposing everything I really don't need to see right now. I responded with a loud "OhMyGawshMyGawshMyGawsh :o", and Stephanie- "I think we need to sterilize our eyes now :( "

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Our little reunion at the Yu's house was very nice. A mini reunion of the PJGH-ers who've come to Melbourne plus little additions here and there. Baby Oliver was adorable, plus little Kristen's gorgeous now.

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The Twilight craze back home is infecting me though I'm seven hours away so I've gotten the brother to download it (: Edward Cullen sounds deliciously steamy in the book, so in the movie I'm guessing he'll be just as yummy. Planning to watch it when I get back, which is something to look forward too, a little more than the normal.

"Oh, have you watched Twilight?"

"Noo, 'f course not yet."

"Oh whyy it's really good- the book."

"I know, but I'm waiting for you to get back first."

(:

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'Taa love.

Itchyy.

I find it so ironic how it's raining, in GoldCoast. Nevertheless, it's interesting hearing the tapping on the metal roof (:
I realised I tend to count alot when I do things. Like when I swim, I count in the breaths I take, when I walk I count the steps I take and when I chew my food I count the rhythm of my chewing bites. So now, that there's tapping on the roof, I'm subconsciously, counting that too.
'Twas a superb day because I had a full dose of H20; swimming in the icy cold water and then bonding with the waves on the beach. Not saying it's enough because it took a good fifteen plus minutes till I got my barefeet int my flipflops to head back to the concrete pavement off the beach, and I doubt I'd have gotten out of the pool even if I turned a wrinkly prune, if I had a choice- I don't see the possibility of H20 ever being, excessive.
The brother had his share of fun, standing in the sand and leaving major depressions, hoping I'd fall into one so he could've a good laugh, but despite me being very blind without contacts or my glasses, I detoured leaving him standing with three holes in the sand, and a "I stood there so long and you didn't even walk into the hole."
I had a mini itchy phase in the car which brought on a heated topic on why people get itchy. We've narrowed it down to either mossie bites, dry skin or being dirty. I ruled out mossie bites, because I haven't been bitten by one since stepping in, or so I very strongly think. My skin no doubt is dry thanks to the awesome weather which leaves you not very sweaty and sticky (: so I panicked when the only option left was being dirty. I then went slightly psychologically off, and began feeling itchy, everywhere. Hmm :/
We had dinner in this Italian restaurant and our waiter, was Brazilian (: Awesome accent and all, pretty steamy. Daddy, JoelLee and of course, Mr. Brazilian got into the football topic which was kicked off with a, "Oh I love Brazilian football." by the brother.
So while I was sitting there, sipping my chlorine smelling water, I just smiled and resisted the suuper strong urge to butt in and say, "Ohh, I love Gisele Bundchen- your Brazilian model (:"
Someone asked me what I've been doing. I've been trying to grow tall by eating the better protein Australia has, and sleeping a little more than I used to while back home (:
They have funky yogurt flavours here, like apple pie and lemon meringue so it's pretty interesting.
'Taa love.

We've arrived sunny Brisbane. Beaches are strewn nearly everywhere making it ohsosopretty, the smell of cocoa butter and salt invades the air and there are sunnies, surfboards and summer dresses all over the place.
Ironically, we are staying in innerland GoldCoast which is about half an hour drive from the beautiful beaches, dang.
Thank God it isn't that far a drive away so we've headed down a few times, I'm happy (:
Right now, it's 12 midnight and Daddy, the brother and me have snuck out to the cafe which is actually already closed, pulled a table and three chairs next to the shut glass door and are busy using the internet.
It's pretty cool- being in innerland the sky is absolutely clear so the stars are really bright and shiny, so the lungs're basically plus the air isn't saturated with carbon dioxide cleaned.
I've just consumed a tiny tub of yogurt and it's 12 freaking midnight so I'm panicked, but the fact that it's made in Aussie and low fat, plus the breeze is somewhat calming, helps. I think.
We've made a date with the beach tommorrow, yet again so I am ecstatic (: (:
I miss home, hmm :/
'Taa lovely.

Hello (:

I tend to have to align my text to be in the middle, and change my font to Georgia, before typing things out. Call it an OCD or a weird habit, but I somehow feel more comfortable doing it.

I'm sitting in the brothers apartment now and I've been told to leave in exactly half an hour, not because he wants to get rid of me (or so I hope) but because the parents have already left back to the apartment further up the road, and I being fussy, want to use the computer.

We've arrived Melbourne safely, thank God hence the reunited Lee family. Feels pretty good and slightly unbelievable, because daddy told us when we three got into the car, that he just remembered how he used to have to constantly keep tabs on where we were when we were running around as kids. Now, we were standing out with our phones opened. Hmm (:

Nonetheless, it's been pretty relaxed since arrival. Interesting, unpredictable and although slightly unnerving, pretty darn nice.

My phone makes a 'tringg' sound when I receive a text. Nothing spectacular about my ringtone, but it's still beautiful hearing it nonetheless.

Due to my lack of multitasking abilities- seeing I can't even read while eating, nor walk up the stairs while drinking a glass of water, I held up the queue quite abit while we were scanned in futile attempt to reply the 'tringg's' received; each one still stored in my inbox. It's triple tasking, smiling, replying and walking through at the same time, so you could imagine the look on Daddy's face as he asked me to hurry up.

Somehow, Starbucks people are always nicer when in the airports. I think it's because of the whole- giving good reputation to international visitors thing. but I can't be to sure. Ordering a Starbucks and assuring the barrister I was below, 20 and still studying in secondary school, I ordered a Caramel Frappuchino, lightbased and managed to sneak it onto the plane without the security guards knowing. We took Malaysian airlines, there you have it (;

I realised, I am terrified of airplane flushes. They have this louder than loud whirling sound, and I feel like if I don't hang on to the door, I might get sucked into the hole and disposed into the sky somewhere over an unknown ocean. My theory since young, on how human wastes get disposed (:

I think, I have mastered the art on how to tell if air stewardesses are fake smiling, or not. sure, they're supposed to smile and be happy, with their perfect Barbie-esque features and character, but when you ask them for a glass of water and tell you they'll be right back with the smile plastered on, yet don't after you press the button alot more times- you pretty much know, they just think you're some squirmy little kid with itchy fingers.

I didn't watch any inflight movies this time, big surprise despite the huge array of shows played. Instead, I read Twilight which I must say is suuper good (: Edward Cullen, despite his vampire-esque-ness, is such a sweetheart. I kept on smiling and wriggling in my seat everytime the story hit a steamy climax, that I think I pretty much disrupted daddy's sleep.

I like turbulences. Walking up the aisle, then gets reaally fun.

I like falling asleep on the plane too, then I don't really need to worry about having things to do.

whenever the seatbelt sign pops up, I put my pillow over my legs to cover up the fact that I don't wear a seatbelt like they ask. I find it pretty absurd, because how far front can you fly, if the plane suddenly jerks?

When we arrived in the airport, the security dogs did their usual sniffinf and checking people and bags. I got frigtened and jerked away with a tiny 'ahhahh', causing suspiscion to be very nearly crossed.

There was this moment when my eye started tearing like crazy because a speck of dust had flewn in. Being idle while waiting for our passport, I started to flail my arms and had a small burst of panic, but then I caught sight of a huge glass panel and went to look at it to see what was wrong. It cleared up after a while thanks to some Saline and tears. But then, I realised that the huge glass panel, was actually a room where people speculate inside, seeing if anything fishy goes on. So basically, I just gave these, 'people' a free flailing arms and jumping up and down show, while tears were pouring out of the slightly red eye. Dang :/

I love, the way barristers here, call you by your name when you collect your order and always end with a thanks 'love'/ 'hun'. It's really, nice to hear (:

The weather here has been magnificent, jogging in the park opposite the apartment is lovely too. people don't give you too weird stares, and you don't stink as much as you do, while back home.

Dogs're all over the place and it's so, liberal. But I do, miss the pool. MuchoMucho.

The brothers in the shower, but he's going to chase me back anytime now. It's really good seeing him again, the guy who shares the same height genes as me (:

I miss, you.

'Taa love.

Rain.

They say when it rains, it pours.
But then again, how could anyone not like water. Like H20.
It's so vast, so immense takes up so much space on earth, that not even the richest person'd be able to own it all if they wanted too. Which then just goes to show, the possibilities of H20 being all mine, is far from even manageable.
So, sure- you go drink water. Take showers and once in a while have a little fun while splashing in rain water. I don't stop you, ever. Because water has this calming, happy and bewildering effect, I strongly think. It gives you a great feeling and somehow washes everything away as it swishes past you.
Like I said, I have absolutely no objection to you coming in contact with it, by all means. Knock yourself out, literally would be nice even.
But I know, if you ever decide to use the swimming pool as your sustainable H20, it's then that you've gone too far, hit too soft a spot and leave me no other choice then to feel detest, outraged and disgusted.
As Carolyn would say, you're already so 'Pretty, Pretty.' Hence, you taking things up a higher notch than they already are, by subtly stealing, using and originalizing like you have so clearly done, would without a doubt leave me in an annoyed, infuriated and outraged state.
Clearly, it worked. Your little innocent scheme. But I got caught, stuck in a corner and then exposed by a huge loudspeaker for the whole world to know. Exaggerating a little, perhaps? Well when it comes to certain loudspeakers, the noise tends to travel to greater distances, then compared to the softer, more secretive and ones with higher respect and less judgement towards people. Unfortunately, the louder loudspeaker was used today. And waves got transmitted. Ugly, degrading and un-respectable waves. Brought upon oneself, no doubt. But noone likes secrets being told through microphones now, do they?
I am against judgement, degrading and bringing people down. So I have to make this very clear, that I did not intend to do neither.
I'm annoyed and I would shake you round and round if I could fit you into a bottle right now; making you terribly dizzy and unsettled.
But I guess, I know a little better.
"I think it's much better to know you feel guilty, then to know you aren't guilty at all."
So yeah, I do feel guilty. For being selfish, crude and not having more tolerance. For being angry, annoyed and disgusted at certain traits I don't necessarily like.
But I am not angry, for feeling be-littled, inferior and annoyed that you portray such a clean squeaky and perfect image outside. And yet back home, it's the total opposite. Rude, vengeful and disrespectful.
I am not angry for wishing you were a little more silent, did not give glares like you always do, and ignore when I compliment on something I think looks good on you. Shun, proud and make people feel inferior.
It's pouring out, but I'm praying it stops and I break my arms to pieces in the pool. At least that gives me something less painful to think about, ascomparedtoyoutwo.
Thank you Ms.SafetyNet, and GermaineLove, for understanding.
And thank you for the little pep talk, with made a whole lot of sense.
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And ending on a lighter note, look what I found in my computer.
The Bottle Trend, in the Physics lab.
Curtesy of PauLing. I miss you, 'Olaa'. (:

FuhreakingAdiposeTissueFilledFaceBlehhhhUrghh.
Still ending, with a 'Taa Love.

Thisissuchastupidpost.

Oh the joys of having a webcam.
Wait, scratch joys. More of amusement.
"Omg, daddy- IcanseeIcansee (:"
So seeing the daughter having gone slightly berserk with the fascination of seeing her face moving on the computer screen, the daddy joins in and so does Romeo and the sister too eventually.
Horrible camera quality, but interesting outcome nonetheless (:
Note, the Daddy doesn't wear glasses all the time, and neither do I. It's a 'Lee' thing to do at home, that's all (:.
It's pretty fun spying on workers from the roof, screaming out loud and then hiding so they don't see you, but hear a scream nonetheless.
When someone else screams, tickles you causing you to jump up and the workers to stare, thinking it's you that screamed though, it isn't all that fun.
Here's to self inflicted bad shots, because I accidentally 'removed' a certain someone by a strong push before I clicked the 'capture' button, being accused of screaming by Indon workers, having slippers being stolen and nearly getting thrown off my own roof by a certain someone..
I just had this weird twisty stomach thing. And I have no idea why. It hurt, but I drank green tea and surprisingly I feel alot better now (:
Despite the fact that I'm leaving for Melbourne in two days, my room is still a mess, I have an unfinished grafitised wall and my cupboard is yet to be strewn all over my bed in hopes of figuring out what to wear.
I have summer dresses, yay.
I am starting to blabber aimlessly, so I shall stop. Now.
Oh wait;
Speechless, over the edge and just breathless,
I never though that I'd catch this, LoveBug again.
-there. I am now, going to knock myself out.
'Taa lovely.

Aiyohh

I eat my cereal, out of a cup.
I don't eat it out of a bowl, interesting huh?
And my spoon, cup and bowl are all matching- they're pink in colour and come from Ikea (:
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I took the first step in operation, Vandalise Sarah's room today. So I have half, a swirly peacock on the wall, with black permanent marker right now.
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BangBang-s.

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Sarah: I didn't really like even the first Madagascar actually :/
Ian: Yeah, because it's too intellectual for you to handle huh? (:
Sarah: Uhuh. -______-
So I google High School Musical 3 instead. Odd as it sounds, I find the whole musical scenario very fascinating. Which is why I enjoyed MamaMia and weirdly enough, the earlier HighSchoolMusicals.
And as cheesy as this is, I like the whole dancing on the rooftop, singing to each other, and then how it starts to rain thing they have going on, fairytale like (:
*SmileSmile*- I want to dance in highheels, sing and not fall after watching that.

And with every step together, we just keep on getting better.
I feel like Brie. You know; super cheesy? Eeh ):
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Random fact- Wentworth Miller is not, gay.
That was probably my most intellectual debate of the day. How pathetic ):
I have weird feet.
Worship Leading on Saturday, again.
Melbourne. In. Four. Days. :)/(
'Ta taa Love.

Who-oa-oa-oah.

Somehow, Ivan and me got to talking about foam partys.
Sarah: Know what, my friend told me that foam parties always lead to sin ;)
Ivan: Huh? What d'ya mean sin?
Sarah: Uhh. Foam. Bubbles. Water. Boys and Girls? Yeahh.
Ivan: Eyhh, dirty la you.
Sarah: Hey I didn't say it okay- Blame my friend.
So 'Mr.Friend' who's attempting pre-Youth games this Saturday involving awesome, bubbles (coughEugenecough) there you have it (:
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I like coloured nail polish.
I like salon-istas who smile when they open the alarm coded glass door, just when you walk in.
I like manicurists who talk to you and don't just sit they with their masks on, looking at your feet cuticle-ing away with the sharp metal pointy thing in their hands.
I like it when my hairdresser doesn't do as she pleases and actually asks me if what she's going to cut off with her scissors, is okay with me.
I like when she tunes down the temperature on the roaring hairdryer too, because I have this phobia that I'll accidentally walk out of the salon with my hair looking broomlike because it dried up.
I like when manicurists tell you to be careful just before you leave, because the rate of snatch thieving has increased dramatically.
To put it into two simple sentences-
I cut my hair. And, I like my new blue coloured toes (:
This being a little self-centered, I hope I don't kick anything, or anyone. That'll cause damage to the toes (sheepishsheepishsmile)
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I don't know why, but I just find you- in a very good but slightly bad way; URGHH.
Cause you're Tiny. Pretty. and, IDunnoHowToDescribeIt.
Singapore tomorrow, you'd know how it is. Right? :/
,
And then, it's off to Melbourne the next week.
I'm so excited, yet pretty scared.
I am ironic, complicated and I don't understand myself alot of the time. Hmm :/
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It's raining outside, 12:03am, dark- and somehow I really feel like going out to run.
Talk about feelingthefreakingstomach, and bad timing.
'Taa sweet.

Little bit.

Daddy and me passed school today in my favourite black car. It isn't his favourite, but I love it. Maybe because the smell of the newly polished leather is gone and there's whiff's of 'Lee' in it, there are small dents from all our schoolbags on the notsoshiny leather seats and fingerprints all over the windows if you look closely. It holds a whole train of painful and comforting memories that I'm not willing to let go off. It's familiar, safe and trustworthy.
He says it consumes the most petrol and has a few other reasons why it isn't the most practical but I beg to defer. I overheard small talk about how Mummy wants to change to a smaller car, save petrol as she says. But I debated, said no and would not let them.
Because as far away as being able to say "I own this car" is from my mouth, I still want to keep it. I want it to be a 'Lee' thing, our thing.
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You sugarcoat, paintitpretty and putonafauxyetstunning persona. Well, very nearly it seems.
I just wonder where everything that seemed so beautiful went and how come things seem to be getting a little bit more sarcastic, shallow and fake lately. I miss, you.
"I don't like letting people in because I'd rather not take the chance of getting hurt."
I pinch myself, then think of how stupid that actually is. Because I can tell when I'm dreaming and when I'm not. I know when the fuzzy edges on people need not terrify me that much and when the clear lines I see through my contacts, have too.
It's November. And the year's ending in a month and a bit more. I can't remember every exact detail in the past few months, but it's filled to the brim with splendour. I don't necessarily mean splendour in a good way, neither do I mean it as bad. I mean it as either way, it's helped me grow just a little bit more I guess. Something like a cut, and how new skin grows after, despite the hurt before.
I don't regret and I will not either. I'm just a little worried, unsettled and uncertain about what's happening now I guess. The dream about you on the phone telling me about her, while I'm endlessly unsettled in my head about how chickenwingelphant-normousanddoughnutfied my armslegsandtummy are, doesn't help that much either.
It strikes me every so often, about what happened to you. How much it must've hurt and how strong and good it is to know you're where you are today. Beautiful, single.
Rings, Pictures and Thoughts all washed away within a month of absence. Whattapatheticguygivingupsomeonelikeyou.

I Love You. I'm just terribly terrified- andthefirst,reasonwhythisishappeningisbecauseI'mgrotesqueandyou'vefoundoutanddetestit.

,
And although you may not know it-
Thank you for the texts and MSN convs which somehow, did good despite them being unexpected.
Here's to jazz, doughnuts and undies (:
Feeling, a little better.
.Whoooosh.
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I have now three tubes of acrylic black paint, and three tubes of red, blue and yellow.
I plan to paint a peacock, do the Love verse and paste a ton of pictures on the room wall.
I'm excited, but procrastinating. Want to help? (:
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It's grow taller time.
SamuelLimmmm: Eyh, Sarah. Did you grow taller?
Sarah: Umm, I dunno. I did? (: (: (: (: *Emphasize on the smileys*
JustinJamesNg and Anderson have also confirmed the slight height increase and I have to say that is, nice to know.
And I'm a little unsettled, unhappy and worried. But tomorrow's a new Sunday.
Church, Burning, and MrKoreanDude again while ushering in black. Sounds, pretty okay I guess.
'Taa lovely.

Not so stupid TM Net guy.

Hello (:
It's been a while since properly updating but recently I've been getting an oatmeal feeling. Blandd :/ Nonetheless, my internet has also been wonky, things have been pretty messy and exams have been totally screwy. So here's the best I can get at.
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LOUD, was Loud.
After many endless texts contemplating and letting out countless, 'UrghShouldIGo?''s, I ended up drenching myself in sweat from the hurrying and flicking my hair vigorously in the car in order to get there on time (toseeacertainsomeonecalledIvanperform). I realised I get giddy, bumping into people. Like I need a few seconds to actually put things into place, I don't think my brain is working very well sometimes. But among the few that I saw-
Chloe Ann.Carrie Choo, and Nickkk, and Ivan and Germaine Love. .
'A Little Thing Called Love', by the Footstool places touched on Love and was awesome. Seated in the gallery in church above the huge crowd off people with RachelHo and GermaineTay was good, it's been a while since the three of us have sat horizontally side by side in a while. And thanks to Germaine arriving early and booking us seats with her (yeahyouwouldn'tmissit) -laughter, we got good seats. Oh also thanks to the waytoocoolforyou usher who waved from the stage down below (: Good enough to see the whole stage and laugh at all the funny parts.
Our spying skills got us small talk with Mr. Korean Dude. Mainly the basic, 'That was a really good performance. We had alot of fun, really funny (:' kinda thing, and now we know his name and age. Our next mission will be with YiLin recruited, and as Rachel demands- a camera brought along.
It's gonna be dejavu all over again this Sunday because I'm watching it again at Daddy's company thing. The only difference is that this time, it's in KLPac, I'll be clad in black, not horizontally aligned with the trio and serving drinks and peanuts. I think, how interesting.
Note to self- Do. Not. Trip.
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Recently it hit me really hard, that green tea is green. Big surprise where it gets is name from. But I find it fascinating how it's so simply named. Know what I mean? Like, it's just funny how things get called what they are called, because- that's just how it is.
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Exams have been pure 'eew'-ness. I've confirmed very highly that a ton of my papers are messed up. They're either filled with words of complete nonsense or incomplete. It's pretty reassuring to know it isn't Form Five and my marks determine how very much of the rest of my life will turn out, but nevertheless- knowing that I have no idea exactly why buoyant force acting on a body is the same as the bodys weight, isn't very pleasant.
The BM paper I sat for was a killer. So I came to the conclusion even before I sat for it, because I had trouble concentrating on some weird lit story about an apple -that I would be very content in the mere fact that I know enough, Malay to communicate with people. The ever popular, where's the toilet, how much is this and the ever so useful, 'don'twantsomethingtobeputintomyfood' lines, are very much in my grasp. So I guess for now, that's sufficient knowledge for my knowing.
And as YiLin and Jack agree with me on this line- "I'm telling myself that because I'm screwing up the papers this year, I'm gonna work alot harder, next."
We'll see how that goes then (:
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I've been talking to myself in my head alot lately.
And the weirdest thing is that I don't know about what. But I have been going to bed with the weirdest of dreams, some scary, some interesting but all under the category of psycho.
I dreamt, I lost the triplets in a park and karma having something to do with this, it started raining very heavily and in the most unglam fashion, I was left stranded in the park with soaking wet clothes, cars passing by and honing at me while laughing and then (this parts the real winner) I fell and hit myself on slippery rocks so I chaffed my arms and knees.
Criticism is never pleasant. It hurts more when you're being criticized by someone that matters to you a whole bunch, and you're being compared to by someone you love yet hate, respect yet get so intimidated by; basically the whole ironicracy hoohaa thing. So this morning I woke up and my eyes were semi wet. It could have been because I yawned. But then again, it could have been the fact that I dreamt that I was constantly compared to her, by you on the phone. And very clearly, I asked how she looked, how her personality was and how high a rank she was. You, replied in these exact words, "She's gorgeous. Amazing personality, and yeah no doubt, she's better than you. Definitely."
You can hear smiles, and I heard it stretched out across your face. I can remember salt water trickling down vaguely in the dream. But then when I woke up I actually felt it. Like I said, it could have been yawning but I highly doubt it.
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Showers block everything out. Because you're confined in that little space where noone possibly goes into. The water pouring down washes sounds down the hole in the floor and camouflage tears because water, like tears are wet.
Skin too thick, too close, too much- however does not get drained down which is horrifying because no matter how hard you scrub, it doesn't vanish.
MyflailingarmhittheshowerdooranditsomehowbrokeandIcutthesideofmyhandwhichhurtinsomehowaverygoodwaysonowIhaveabrokenshowerdoorandacutonthewristofmyhand.

Awesome, I'm adding showers to my love-hate thing. Like I just have with- rain.
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XinHui texts me, and like always her texts always seem to amuse me."Omg did you know that ammonia dissolves rapidly in water which means your FART will dissolve in the pool. Ewww."

I tell her I think that's pretty amusing, and I'm pretty glad I don't fart in the pool and if I did, you'd be able to see bubbles. Which would just be, awkward.
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While attempting to study in school, YiLin, XinHui, TeckYan the tall and me diverted very fast in very random directions of conversations. It's proven that reading half a synopsis of literature is possible, But then thoughts of-Prom- which might be a year earlier thanks to MsTanYiLinSlore (:
HairCutting- thanks to me attempting to explain to the Slore, yet again how I have discovered the night before, before getting my shut eye about my weird hair ends which don't split but seem to get thinner halfway down my hair strand.
Diving- and how if XinHui were any heavier than the tiny frame she is in now, her coach would not have been able to pull her off the diving board (or something to that effect)
How I cannot hold a pen when studying- Because I read a sentence and start to vandalise the white pages of books almost immediately-get brought up.
Those few sentences summed up, basically means it's very easy to divert in forty minutes to a whole bunch of different topics when with the Slore, YiLin and Slut, XinHui.
And thenn, TeckYan the tall one comes along. And the four of us get caught up in a whole cycle of 'truth and dare', 'would you rather' and get stares from the surroundings while we whisper in out little cult-ish circle and laugh out loud and the most random, and sickest things. This all involving the most random people, a camel, a lamma, a 'cat'- all determined by who the green cover on my stabilo pen points too, when the pen stops spinning (:
Before we know it, it's time for recess, our BM paper starts in a half an hour and I'm still stuck on the same page I was, forty minutes ago.
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I don't know how I'm gonna do in exams, I don't know how they're feeling and I can't control what I'm going to feel like tomorrow because I can't even control my body size.
And I can't make myself do well, I can't guarantee I'm be able to please them and I can't promise I'll be able to not look in the mirror long enough to hate it because, I don't sculpt skin like I can on paper to mannequins.
You might not like a certain something I say, and I can't help if it accidentally slips out though I had no bad intentions whatsoever in the first place.
But I know, when it starts to hurt, I know when I start kicking the word tired, strain and breathless out. And right now that feels unexplainably, secure.
"You're trying to control too many things, Sarah. You're putting too many things on yourself. And you've got to start letting it go, and leaving it all to Him."
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The brother turns twenty.
And I just remember my aunty telling me how I used to kick his lego set over and find it amusing.
From getting plasticine stuck onto the ceiling, watching him drop his Tamagotchi into his MaggiMee then seeing it spark, placing rubber cockroach outside the parent's room to find Daddy coming back with a newspaper rolled up, whacking the floor very aimlessly.
To painting his toenails in his sleep, lying upside down on his bed while he reenacts Justin Timberlake on the guitar, a skinny latte on Lygon with a black jumper and biting cold weather- no sugar please.
To right now where random texts at the most unexpected times get sent through waves all the way to Melbourne and back, each one with the surname 'Lee' being included inside-
Blessed 20th JoelLee. Cannot wait to see you soon. I Love You (:
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Word of the week, was definitely- PPSST (:
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Please don’t get me wrong. I appreciate, love and would not have any other. But sometimes, it gets a little too much to tolerate, disassociate and reject. It doesn’t only hinder things from getting solved but it inevitably does not solve the problem.
It’s stupid to expect something to come naturally when it most definitely isn’t there from the beginning anyway. Pointless to hope and want a certain response, reply or remark when I’m not sure exactly what it is I’m aiming for to begin with. But maybe if I saw you were at least trying a little harder to relate, and you were trying a little harder to not be a total pain in the ass- things would be a little easier.
It’d be totally unfair to blame a certain something on someone else without taking the blame, so yes I’m aware that I’m not always the easiest person to talk too. But when I try to tell you I’m making an effort, and try to show you I’m attempting to accept the cold hard truth that genes just are a certain way- it doesn’t help at all when you shun and ignore while staring at the recycled paper, and you just turn your ear out right away without seeing I’m not directing and foulness right from the beginning and shoot sarcastic Idon’tcare comments.
And well watching in the sidelines, I just miss and sometimes pity you for having to go through it without actually being involved. This whole gender thing, and how you sometimes get roped in just the same.
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I get fascinated pretty easily as you would know. So in the middle of dinner and removing a bone from a fish, we felt a small tremble and the wooden front doors rumbled. No exaggeration here- moments later we heard ‘boomb’, something like fireworks, just there weren’t any pretty lightings in the sky. Leaving it and resuming the fish de-boning, we heard it again moments later and then, Mummy went to look to see what it was.
She came back and very surprisingly told us she could see fire from a distance. So here it’s somewhat lights in the sky, just instead of the many colours, we got a huge cloud of orange and a whole lot of pollution from the smoke. It was a pretty big bang and hence, flames were massive.
About 2 km away from home, where we stood watching out through the window we heard fire engine sirens and curiosity overcame us and we took a drive out to see what happened.
The bushes outside the golf course were on massive flammation so a crowd had gathered. Me and Mummy sat in the car watching a chicken cross the road (there’s a small village nearby that’s why) and water spray out the flames from the huge hose I thought only existed in movies. After a while, she decided to go back home but after much persuasion seeing the fire had died down quite a bit, we parked the car by the road and got out. Was pretty funny seeing people in their pyjamas and old men in their singlets but we pretty much blended in seeing I was in boxer shorts and she in her house tee.
The chicken was by then sitting on a roof top and after a few moments, I decided, heck- let’s just get closer up to the action so in my Ipanemas, I made my way down the gold course near the fence to hear and see a few pretty amusing things (:
Heard- “Whoa, they put out most of it already. Man, someone should have brought marshmallows.”
Saw- A guard carrying another chicken- this time it was black burnt and ready to be buried thanks to the flames.
Heard- “Faster, take as many pictures as you can, then we can put it into the newspaper. Can make money I think.”
And I saw a bunch of dudes nearby who were to me, the most sane outta the lot. One clad in a grey tee and surf shorts. Not bad, but Asian though, YiLin ;)Then, after the excitement pretty much died down, we went back home and I watched CSI, despite having an exam the next day. Bravoo.
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The hair, is braidable. Whoopdeedoo (:
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And to my beloved Slore and Slut who are in Camerons now-
I sacrified being arrested by the poilce to take this picture illegally. .
Hmm, satisfied (:
'Taa loves.

Stupid Internet.

The internet is very unfortunately, down.
We've been on a spree calling the TM Net phoneline people but our efforts have been to absolutely no avail (Malaysians being Malaysians also).
Which leaves me sitting here right now, facing Daddys teensy laptop where I stumble on clicking the wrong letters every so often because I'm not used to this keypad. Also, I'm using palm pilot as a modem so the connection is pretty dang slow.
Exams are over, how wonderful.
Che-che Juvy: So your exams are over you can relax already huh?
Sarah: Uhh, yeah. But I think I've actually been pretty relaxed- even while they were on. Which isn't very good but, mm (:
It's pretty amusing how I don't really aim for a high A now, I'm satisfied as it is (although I do wish the marks were higher duhh) with passing. My brain is as flaccid as a sea cucumber I swear, and I actually had this teensy worry that day that it would die out completely and I would become a vegetable.
It's so near the year end it's bewildering to think of how it seemed like the year beginning wasn't too long ago. It's been a pretty good one all things considered. New people, new situations and new experiences. Holidays come with a mix of, 'Yess, schools out.' and, 'Dang, now I gotta find things to do so I'm occupied.' feelings. So this holidays, I've mainly planned to paint the room and get my feet pedicured. That's just for starters, getting too ambitious is easy but I'll probably not get even half the list done so I'm starting slow.
I've gotta buncha draft posts saved in the main desktop but seeing the internet is not cooperating, I'll just keep it kicking with a short one for now.
The brother, by the way has turned twenty (: And since I was scrolling through some of the weirdest (and literally disturbing) pictures stored in Daddy's laptop, I found this and it'll have to do for now- minus the photoediting and having to bear with the contorted smiling, seeing it was the best out of the lot I could find. I've got a mini birthday post saved in the drafts, but I'm attempting to maximize this post seeing it would be a waste to write such a short one after waiting everso patiently for the internet to load.
May TM Net turn muchmuch more efficient overnight so the desktop works properly.
Britneys- Womenizer is stuck in my bed, I just made green tea (nudgenudge you (;) and I am pretty sleepy. I'm starting to take loongg blinks.
Goodnight loves.
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(The next day)
I was waiting for the picture to upload last night, and somehow when I woke up it was morning, I was in bed and the clock showed 11:30am.
The TM Net guy has succeeded in fixing the internet and now, I'm pretty happy.
So, toodleloo- back to the web.

I think I'm tired, but I can't be.
So, disgusting how I can feel it pressing against all over me. Like there's not enough room to occupy everything I contain. Reflect, Refract and Reject.
My tummy is suffering from lack of blood circulation. So are my legs. That, causes cellulite ): Dang it.
Scared, Exhausted, Frustrated and Confused.
Lack of physical contact leaves things cold. Lack of mouth movement, leaves it feeling clammy and words don't seem to come out right after a bit. And too much thinking, in too tiny a brain, leaves it very swollen and distorted.
Urghh, I just- don't know. Anything.