Days like these?
Being back home, feels like sh*t.
,
–Learn to 'fuggin drive.
.
*
i don't want to grow up.
i don't want to be responsible & i don't want to make right decisions because they are always the harder ones to make.
i don't want to listen to you even if what you are telling me is what is the wisest thing to do right now & will bring more benefit in the future. i don't want to listen because it hurts me not being able to do what i want right now.
i want to throw tantrums, bang doors, shout and swear, & cry. i want to make a fuss and stomp my feet so that maybe then i will get things done my way.
i want to show you i am angry, i want you to know at times that i am not happy so that maybe when you see me that way? you will try to make me feel better and the anger and hurt will go away and i will be alright again.
i want to show you i am angry, not because i actually am but because i don't know exactly how to tell you that i am scared, & hurt, & afraid & not sure who else to go to at all. i don't know exactly how to tell you that although i am 19, some days i still very much need you to be here like when i was 9.
So some days, it feels like if i don't show you that i am angry– then you will never know that i actually really want you to be here more than anything else, & i just don't know how to ask. It feels like you will eventually forget me, like it sometimes seems so many people have.
Some days it feels easier to hurt this way.
,
–Patience.
–Happy posts. Yup, definitely that too. Happy posts.
.
Being back home, feels like sh*t.
,
–Learn to 'fuggin drive.
.
*
i don't want to grow up.
i don't want to be responsible & i don't want to make right decisions because they are always the harder ones to make.
i don't want to listen to you even if what you are telling me is what is the wisest thing to do right now & will bring more benefit in the future. i don't want to listen because it hurts me not being able to do what i want right now.
i want to throw tantrums, bang doors, shout and swear, & cry. i want to make a fuss and stomp my feet so that maybe then i will get things done my way.
i want to show you i am angry, i want you to know at times that i am not happy so that maybe when you see me that way? you will try to make me feel better and the anger and hurt will go away and i will be alright again.
i want to show you i am angry, not because i actually am but because i don't know exactly how to tell you that i am scared, & hurt, & afraid & not sure who else to go to at all. i don't know exactly how to tell you that although i am 19, some days i still very much need you to be here like when i was 9.
So some days, it feels like if i don't show you that i am angry– then you will never know that i actually really want you to be here more than anything else, & i just don't know how to ask. It feels like you will eventually forget me, like it sometimes seems so many people have.
Some days it feels easier to hurt this way.
,
–Patience.
–Happy posts. Yup, definitely that too. Happy posts.
.
1 thinks:
You drive people crazy.
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